When something is
toxic, it is toxic, in whatever form it comes. It is worse when it comes in a
form of a person that you really love and plan to spend your entire life with,
then - BOOM! You have a love crazy psychopath literally bleeding in your hands,
with cloudy one sided accusations thundering at you.
When you don’t need a
love-interest in your life anymore, the most simplest, considerable thing to do
is to let them know – break it down slowly…..or fast, but break it down. You
might encounter some form of emotionally linear, nonlinear sob, shout filled resistance,
even silence, when breaking your heart felt news to them. In the end the breaking-up
job will be technically done.
On the other hand,
when you don’t need a love-interest in your life anymore, do not go around
bad-mouthing them for ill-treatment towards you, just because you want to leave
them, hence you don’t want anyone else to be with them after you are over-and-done
with the relationship.
So, the question is: Can
you really ‘claim’ to be in a loving-relationship with someone and insist on
bad-mouthing them in the faces of your friends and family for ill-treatment,
which they did not dish out? Yeah, you
might dish out for the dog outside, then do the dishes after but never throw
any dishes aimed at anyone inside the house, screaming obscenities.
There are unwise
partners out there. Partners that do not know how to handle the metaphysical reaction
that goes on inside them. When they are suddenly hit by the knowledge and
truth, that they do not have that needed passion and attraction to keep up the
flames of love blazing, they explode. However, this bursting out is an implosion
that is misdirected outwardly. Where what is needed to be said is not said to
their partner, and what is not needed to be said is said to everyone that cares
to listen. In refined terms, called: ‘An impolitic love-hate manoeuvre’.
An impolitic love-hate
manoeuvre, is a very hard place between being loved and being hated when
bad-mouthing rocks are aiming at you.
One suddenly hears
rumours about their ill-mannered behaviour from castigating neighbours,
friends, family, including work colleagues about things they haven’t done.
“Did you hear what
Dick did?”
“ What did Dick do?”
“Where was Dick?
Where?”
Only to find out that
your most precious has been creating nasty tales about you, only to make you
back-up, then push you over the edge.
No one comes to Dick’s
defence, shouting: “Hey, enough! Enough! Leave Dick alone! Dick don’t know jack!”
When a “I want out of
this love-affair!” lover, pulls ‘an impolitic love-hate manoeuvre’ on you, the
first thing that hits you is…..yes, confusion. “What in the living misery is
going on?” then that confusion gradually manifest its self into “What did I do
to deserve this?” Others go ‘schizo’ on the menacing bad-mouthing lover “Maybe I
did do it, when I was asleep?”……”Eish, is it love, or hate that I’m feeling?”
At times it leads to an
uproar. Where a man…. or a woman is left
with one choice when all has been done and nothing can never be done – the coldest-end-of-the-stick, has been dished
out: “You came here with the bare essentials and you shall depart with your
bare essentials! I hate you! I hate you!”
It is said, “Everyone
Needs Love!” In the end it’s the one person that you love most that destroys
you the most – they know everything about you that you don’t even know
yourself.
Yes everyone needs crazy
love, however if crazy love doesn’t need you, let crazy love leave.
WORD TO A LOVE-HATE REVOLUTION
Linda Sakazi Thwala
