Heart Breaks of Sibling Rivalry

One subject that has lingered in my life and pestered my existence is Sibling Rivalry, which is said to be: “The often aggressive, contentious interactions between siblings?” Siblings engage in this tenuous struggle for dominance due to the no peculiar reason but jealousy. Jealousy that leads the other sibling thinking that they own and deserve everything that the other sibling, be it brother or sister, has or acquires from their parents or through share hard work.

When one has a sibling, brother or sister, younger or older, that has no self-direction and lacks self-worth and self-discipline in their existence, looks at what their sibling has, thus want to dominate and control their achievements; sibling rivalry turns from a simple game of what’s mine is yours, into a serious life of self-loathing and unnecessary pathos. A life of kinship adversities that is formed and merged by lineage and blood. In some cases leads to murder, due to an uncontrolled parental supervision.

When parents lose the grip on discipline and ignore how their children interact between each other, the often much needed emotional attachment is replaced by material affirmation, which leads to an uncontrolled home environment, which sieves through to our social environment. The brother or sister that thinks that they are more prone to be loved or hated by its parents, ends up thinking that they can takeover and assume the parental role without considering other siblings. Therefore, become the ‘aggressor’ in everything that the other sibling contributes towards their kinship, be it physically, verbally or emotionally.

The extra aggressive sibling, will go out of their way to blame, trick and create squabbles between their siblings and parents. The trickery comes in the form of creating untruths against their brother or sister, taking everything given to their sibling as theirs and destroying it purposely to make the other sibling’s self-worth seems unwanted and trounced. The aggressor is the attention-seeker, always wants attention from its parents in every way and every form, at whatever cost, even if they are wrong in their jealousy crazed pursuit. The aggressor has no self-perception and takes no self-criticism, as a result is blinded by the storm of jealousy brewing within them. There is no peace in the world of the aggressor, only division, finger-pointing and a lot of bickering.

The power struggle for acceptance is what drives a sibling to do things that will disparage their brother or sister from achieving or living their lives in their home, or social environment. Sibling rivalry can be extremely aggravated if the other sibling is talented and has something to contribute to the world. When the aggressor has no voice of their own, they want to take the voice of the one that has it, thus fail to appreciate and acknowledge their shortcoming – you can’t have it all and you can't have power over your siblings.

When it comes to constructing a strong family base, self-control amongst siblings is an important and essential trait. Parents need to understand each sibling for who they are and what they want out of life - give special attention to the sibling that needs it most, and give encouragement to the one that gets it; which will ultimately help in polarizing two or more opinionated minds, each character formulating their own spiritual and mental base in love and light.

Illuminate your home with love, and conversations that will bring clarity and understanding between your siblings. If you have a sibling that hates you for who you are or you hate, try and build a sense of worth by bridging that gap with love and understanding that your sibling will never be you and you can never be your sibling. Alas, your life can never be your brother’s or sister’s, but yours. Eliminate jealousy; eliminate the touchy subject of Sibling Rivalry. In Love and in Light!!!

WORD TO A NEW SIBLING LOVE REVOLUTION!

By Linda Sakazi Thwala