IS IT LOVE, OR IS IT HATE THAT I’M FEELING?

When something is toxic, it is toxic, in whatever form it comes. It is worse when it comes in a form of a person that you really love and plan to spend your entire life with, then - BOOM! You have a love crazy psychopath literally bleeding in your hands, with cloudy one sided accusations thundering at you.

When you don’t need a love-interest in your life anymore, the most simplest, considerable thing to do is to let them know – break it down slowly…..or fast, but break it down. You might encounter some form of emotionally linear, nonlinear sob, shout filled resistance, even silence, when breaking your heart felt news to them. In the end the breaking-up job will be technically done.

On the other hand, when you don’t need a love-interest in your life anymore, do not go around bad-mouthing them for ill-treatment towards you, just because you want to leave them, hence you don’t want anyone else to be with them after you are over-and-done with the relationship.

So, the question is: Can you really ‘claim’ to be in a loving-relationship with someone and insist on bad-mouthing them in the faces of your friends and family for ill-treatment, which they did not dish out?   Yeah, you might dish out for the dog outside, then do the dishes after but never throw any dishes aimed at anyone inside the house, screaming obscenities.

There are unwise partners out there. Partners that do not know how to handle the metaphysical reaction that goes on inside them. When they are suddenly hit by the knowledge and truth, that they do not have that needed passion and attraction to keep up the flames of love blazing, they explode. However, this bursting out is an implosion that is misdirected outwardly. Where what is needed to be said is not said to their partner, and what is not needed to be said is said to everyone that cares to listen. In refined terms, called: ‘An impolitic love-hate manoeuvre’.    

An impolitic love-hate manoeuvre, is a very hard place between being loved and being hated when bad-mouthing rocks are aiming at you.  

One suddenly hears rumours about their ill-mannered behaviour from castigating neighbours, friends, family, including work colleagues about things they haven’t done.

“Did you hear what Dick did?”

“ What did Dick do?”

“Where was Dick? Where?”

Only to find out that your most precious has been creating nasty tales about you, only to make you back-up, then push you over the edge.

No one comes to Dick’s defence, shouting: “Hey, enough! Enough! Leave Dick alone! Dick don’t know jack!”

When a “I want out of this love-affair!” lover, pulls ‘an impolitic love-hate manoeuvre’ on you, the first thing that hits you is…..yes, confusion. “What in the living misery is going on?” then that confusion gradually manifest its self into “What did I do to deserve this?” Others go ‘schizo’ on the menacing bad-mouthing lover “Maybe I did do it, when I was asleep?”……”Eish, is it love, or hate that I’m feeling?”

At times it leads to an uproar. Where a man…. or  a woman is left with one choice when all has been done and nothing can never be done –  the coldest-end-of-the-stick, has been dished out: “You came here with the bare essentials and you shall depart with your bare essentials! I hate you! I hate you!”

It is said, “Everyone Needs Love!” In the end it’s the one person that you love most that destroys you the most – they know everything about you that you don’t even know yourself.

Yes everyone needs crazy love, however if crazy love doesn’t need you, let crazy love leave.

WORD TO A LOVE-HATE REVOLUTION

Linda Sakazi Thwala