SELF-LOVE: The importance of loving yourself

The importance of loving yourself forms a resolute base in your humanity - who you are, where your origins are and where you are destined to go. Self-love is vital as it is the base for yourself affirmation and self-confidence. A destructive personality lacks self-love and cannot show or teach another to love or accentuate love in its real form – action.

Love is action – how you treat each other in a relationship will determine the latitude and longevity of your love; acting love is also an emotional triptych to all your friendships and acquaintances – showing hate gives back hate, showing love gives back love. Acting love comes in different forms; one being self-love – the ability to realize that you cannot love another unless you love yourself; two, exuding that love in everything you do; three, talk the talk and walk the talk – act on your promises; four, ability to know when you have faulted and acknowledge that you have; five, good communication – know where you stand and where your partner stands on your relationship is critical.

When you have self-love, you have trust in your ability to love whole-heartedly without giving away your responsibility, independence and self-respect to another person. Self-love affirms yourself realization and power to be in control to everything that comes your way and be ready to shed off disappointments from the people that you have entrusted your love to. Understanding that no one will love you as much as you love yourself, breathes understanding on why people tell you they love you and why they will err in their ways of loving, eventually ending their love. This also lays in association with knowing that you can never force anyone to love you, unless they love you for who you are. Forceful love needs a lot of convincing which eventually comes in materialistic forms, heartaches and unhappiness.

Material-love is what I call ‘outside conformation’ – When an individual needs conformation that their partner truly loves them or that they are truly loved, then their self-love cannot sustain their them through life’s hardships and obstacles that they need to overcome on their own. Material-love withers with time and does not and will not help a relationship that’s in trouble. It is the same with sexual-affirmation; when you love is base overtly, entirely on sexual contact, without honest communication, self-love is nonexistent, thus there is no loving relationship, only lust.

Learning that your partner loves you doesn’t mean that you own them and that they in turn own you, and should control your every move and association with other people. Self-love does not control, therefore help in building a concrete relationship by allowing self-development without closing opportunities for your lover with your jealousy. Over-protectiveness puts a strain to a loving relationship, sooner or later killing it. Jealousy places the perpetrator in an emotional prison and can be quelled through an open, trusting love with an innocent communication channel between partners.

The power to love depends on your power to show self-love, respect and independents and having the power to find inner love that is eternal. The type of love that keeps your fire for life burning, love that can resist abuse and learn to love again; love that can hold on to a one true-love and fight all temptations seeking to extinguish that loving flame. A love that will love you and love what your relationship or marriage procreates.

This importance of loving yourself can never be denied, it is vital for self-sustenance, self-respect and self-development. Loving yourself should not make you too complaisant, naïve or arrogant. However bear in mind that with no self-love your dignity is hampered.

When you love yourself in this world - the impossible turns into possible, and you learn to follow your heart’s desire reaching out to others honestly, without reservations or hidden agendas. Pure love is not confirmed by material-love; however pure love attracts honest love. In all the joys and pains in this life real love warms your heart and sees you through hardships. When you love yourself, your mister or miss right becomes a reality. Love and love big, never forget to love yourself.

WORD TO A NEW LOVING REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala