PARENTS WHO USE THEIR CHILDREN AS SHIELDS

A bad relationship can wield a stack of unwarranted nasty warring manoeuvres from two people who use to admire each other, but find themselves fighting an emotional war that leaves no emotional casualties. One of these spiteful tactics is using the child/children as a pawn(s) to make the other partner mentally and emotionally wounded.

Parents who use their children as shields are not only embroiled in a dangerous affair of destroying their own lives, but also stand to annihilate the lives of innocent bystanders that did not ask to be part of their selfish war.  

What parents do in such situations of a desperate ploy to appease their own hurt, and inflict much needed damage to the other spouse – format damaging statements about the other partner to their child/children, or make them respond in an inappropriate manner in front of their children/child. Creating a chaotic verbal confrontation, which leads to physical abuse.

The children end up with a view that their parent is a nothing that can be respected or regarded as an important entity in their lives – even if they were not the ones that initiated the scuffle. This summons more animosity between the couple, an endless circle of abuse.

At times the circle of  ill-treatment resort to name calling on the children/child’s part because their mother or father told them to brand their spouse as such and such. And chose to being insolent and disregarding of their parent’s feelings and property.  The child/children becomes an emotion threat and destructive bridge that can never be crossed – which leads to a partner exiting the relationship/marriage entirely, erasing their children from their lives in the process.   

    

Using your child/children as a pawn(s) in an emotional battle to gain control over your partner  culminates in a lose-lose situation, without positive reprimand.

If children/child goes through life without having experienced a different love or relationship situation and environment besides, the one between his/her parents; grows up thinking that relationships are a repugnant union – therefore the same situation is perpetuated time and again.

The pinches of relationship repression become ever so much harder to surmount, when the child/children turn against you as a parent because of a brawl between you and your spouse, especially when you are committed to being emotionally, physically and financially responsible towards them.   

  

There are better channels that can be used to remedy the situation without resorting to spreading emotional animosity between a child/children and their other parent.           

It is humanly acceptable to feel hurt when your partner or spouse becomes emotionally and physically negligent towards you and your feelings, however it is not acceptable to intentionally turn your child/children against their parent because, you had a fallout with them.      

Parents who use their children as shields in their relationships, end up destroying their own children.

WORD TO A NEW CHILD PROTECTION REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

EMOTIONAL TIME - WHEN TIME DOESN’T HEAL......

In relationships couples tend to punish each other for the deeds that were committed by partners from their previous relationships. The torment brought on a new loving relationship by a previous relationship despairing experience, carters a weighing emotional encounter that brings a psychological inequity  to their new relationship.

A distressing experience may vary from emotional abuse to physical or both - that was never addressed and dealt with properly to allow the process of healing to take place.  The experience becomes a stigma of failure and shame in the lives, creating a impression of vulnerability in an individual’s personal makeup.

Some individuals, through emotional vulnerability become emotionally dependent on others, either a lover, spouse or family members – at times are most likely expected to fall into the same trap that they were trying to avoid; subsequently the circle of abuse becomes their lifelong effort of rubbing the evasive emotional, and at times clear physical dent from their personality framework.  

An emotional heartbreak can lead to an individual losing the tidbits of their own emotional intelligence, that regulates their emotive aptitude and mental intelligence, thus create a personality imbalance, on their part, leading to an emotionally educed abnormally. Others plummet towards the margins of self-blame.  

The emotional abnormally comes as a defense mechanism in an effort to eradicate the hurt that has created this seemingly immovable dent, which has shaped their entire existence. Therefore, the circle of hurting and being hurt is perpetuated unremittingly – when avoided.              

It is through ‘reflective therapy’ that one may mend from such tormenting emotional heartbreaks, by breaking down the levels and indentations of that psychological and physical abuse. The process of mending does take time, and a great deal of effort if not faced straight on.

On the other hand, it’s funny how time doesn't really heal the most pertinent moment of relationship heartbreak, however renders a moment of reflection and growth - in relation to how it is taken and dealt with. At times the heartbreak is not given enough time of reflection, healing and emotional growth, therefore it becomes an enduring psychosomatic dent to an individual, hence a safety pin is manifested to an emotionally vulnerable individual – any pressure, the siren goes off, to safeguard the soft dent.

There is no total healing to despondent dents of emotional relationship heartbreaks – there is only time and space of reflecting and reaching a point of mental and emotional deducing as to why it happened, and how the dent of heartbreak can be applied to educate one emotionally, in order to avoid carrying it over to your next relationship.   

It’s how you deal with the relationship heartbreak that gives you transcending growth in how you treat your other romantic relationships from the hurt that has altered your perception on love.

WORD TO A NEW EMOTIONAL HEALING PROCESS REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala 

http://www.facebook.com/SAKAZI

UNSOLICITED TEENAGE SEXUAL ACTIVITY

The thought of teenagers consorting in unsolicited sexual activities with their fellow peers does not dwell well in my cognitive confines. Over the years, South Africa has seen an increase in teenage mortality deaths, mainly due to guardianship neglect from parents and adults in our communities, to safeguard and instilling sexual decency – help in preventing and prolonging unwanted sexual activity, unwanted pregnancies; thus help curb sexual transmitted infections and permanent sexual illnesses.      

We as a society need to encourage our youth to practise abstinence, over and above protection, for as long as it is possible in their adolescent years and early adulthood. Teenagers should not be allowed to use any form of contraceptive medicine, neither oral nor injected. As it has been medically proven that some contraceptives pills and injections, can lead to irreparable dysfunction to their reproductive system and help spread Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and H.I.V/Aids.

Some people view sexual education talks and condom use as encouragement to teenagers to be sexually promiscuous, however I beg to differ.  Sexual talks with teenagers, as noted in the media, particularly concerning the ‘reproductive process’ – as to how, why and what makes a young girl, or a woman pregnant, and the consequences of having to carry the responsibility of bearing a baby, hitherto - are necessary.     

  

Young boys need to understand that penetrating a young female peer sexually, comes with responsibilities, and the fundamental responsibility is to ‘Father’ the baby that will be reproduced from that young female peer through unprotected penetration. Including the pain and torments of treating a sexually acquired infection and disease.

Teenage sexual activity and all its ominous concatenations that support it has to be restrained by a well informed and refined parental hand, that knows when to talk and instil responsible discipline.

Concatenations such as television adult viewing restrictions, pornographic internet site surfing, cellphone sexual advertisements, need to be explained to a young unrefined mind as to what they mean, whom they are directed to and why they shouldn’t be watched by youngsters.           

Failing to talk to your child about sex and its concentration elements can and will lead to teenage rebellion, family dysfunction and unnecessary sorrowing moments.

The Media has captured some of these moments – young boys consorting in unsolicited sex during school hours, in their school’s cloakrooms/toilets with young girls. In some of these cellphone captured  sexual encounters a young girl is being shared by two or three young boys in that moment – despicable.

Parents, guardians, community leaders and the media, need to take a stand  in reducing such despicable teenage behaviour. And I do not think that injecting young girls, who haven’t reached puberty with ‘sterilising medication’ (like animals), will help in depleting teenage pregnancies or curb the spread of H.I.V/Aids.

WORD TO A NEW TEENAGE SEXUAL AWARENESS REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala 

http://www.facebook.com/SAKAZI

SAKAZI’S REVIEW: QUIETUDE -‘the arrival’

Quietude’s debut album, “The Arrival” is a solid 15 track album (excluding interludes and the outro), blended with a perfect classical sound, jam-packed of idyllic clichés, “taking you back” with borrowed phrases, tempo style and Hip-hop finesse that made the 90’s Hip Hop legendary jazzy genre, with a fabulous piece of vocal narcissism – well done.

Quietude is a Rap fanatic duo of Sello Motsoko a.k.a “Bakdraft” and Pule Pelo “Domino” that has been scrapping, rap battles and enthusiast’s scenes around South Africa – honing their trade in Tembisa’s Hip Hop arena – “1632”.

The duo’s Jazzy, layback feel is a soothing mature melodic vogue that is truly a creative time machine. Although there are some areas that need to be refined which includes own sound originality and a bit of more lyrical consciousness – there’s a resonance of richness and growth in their style.

It is the way the album is structured and delivered with fine clever sampling, that takes a listener to another rhythmic dimension, a celebration of Hip Hop grooves and space. Making a stand on its own.

The featured vocal virtuousness and articulation of Nongoma Ndlovu and Gracia Bolha on “Blaze This Song” and “Things Ain’t The Same” respectively, capitulates this duo’s musical expression of ‘Kasie Hip Hop’ to another level.

My personal favourite, track number 12, “Home of Hip Hop” featuring the ever vernacular lyrically potent, Paragon, is a wordy oral praise of life, charity and hospitality of Tembisa - “iKasie lama Kasie”. With track 4 “Time Travel” summing up the ‘taking you back theme’ saluting the American Hip Hop influences that made Quietude what it is to date.

The Production team includes Cap-Stone, Trompie a.k.a Blcksperm, Mark Watson, Landmarq, Blknght, Nyambz, Lully and Phanatik One - Quietude co-producing some of the tracks.

The album lacks a bit of sound originality, but enough to make all Quietude fans and Hip Hop heads to brake heads and take a bracing flossing word. It is a personal winner and a future prospect to what Hip Hop should be in South Africa. The album is worth every Rand for Rap/Hip Hop lovers – a classic.

One thing for-sure, this Hip Hop duo has arrived and is going places. As they say “We ain’t Rap artists, we musicians...”, giving you enough stuff that grows on you, and leaves you wanting more.

WORD TO A QUIETUDE HIP HOP REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Contact Bakdraft @ 0794036613

Email : quietude1632@gmail.com

Websites
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Quietude/302159200068
http://soundcloud.com/quietude
www.twitter.com/quietude1632
www.twitter.com/iambakdraft

NEW AGE ANIMOSITY BETWEEN THE SEXES

A self-defeating subtle attrition between feminine and masculine forces that has hurled all societies of the globe into an imperceptible separating force; neither black nor white, but gender based - seeking  physical, emotional and mental parity from an age-long chauvinistic, misogynistic force that has untimely aimed to suppress and reign over women without reprimand.

There is an alarming disparaging number of women who are, incessantly leaning towards a misanthropic tendency, mainly due to the type of treatment that has been dish out to them by an equally emotionally negligent masculine force.  

The battle field for this archaic sexist war has changed over the years, however it is still as potent as ever behind closed doors. Autonomy for everyone, in our economic inequitable world, played a unbending role in creating an even more isolating emotive hegemony – feminine power.

“There is nothing more dangerous, than a woman scorned”, in this state, a generation of scorned women and its feminine posterity; an inequality that was paved by egotistical men, our forefathers who saw women as mere things that looked after them and its off-springs without rights. Hence, our modern-day gender prejudices are rooted so deeply that they are hard to eradicate.          

We are still inhabits in the world that has minimal gender equality, and none in some places of the world – however there are those who strive to create a balanced pendulum between the sexes with love and respect for all sexes.

In this new age, Amazonian feminist extremists are creating a new sphere of imbalance, that was influenced by male chauvinism. Moreover with the newly past-centurion acquired economic emancipation. Women have their own birthright voices to influence and shape the future course for their own communities and the human race as a whole.    

We can strive to reach an amicable equilibrium, but there will always be problems, especially when it comes to “class-gender segregation”.  Therefore, women who still hold animosities with the masculine sex, will hold their positions in every societal stance to manipulate and weaken the insidious attitudes of male chauvinism.    

The concern in this, is what is witness in the black community, these days - the black man does not feel appreciated anymore and that’s the general feel in our nation. Man, especially the ones that love their women, feel as subservience to women who hold important positions at work and come home only to act as man-of-the-house, which is a mental, emotional and physical castration.

As a result, we see more and more households that are initiated and managed by single mothers who see man as a justified sperm, a means to an eminent separable end. More and more men see women as sex objects, a cup to have for a couple of weeks and leave to find another – these animosities create a palpable gap that is growing rapidly, within our society. Where the woman is the ‘Mother and Father’, and the man is just a Daddy that inconveniently drops in unwelcome, unloved. Worst case scenario, total neglect.      

Migrant labour in the early 20^TH Century drove a hive of men into the city in order for them to provide for their households, in some cases a whole tribal community. Forcefully, children grew up without their fathers as role models but, as financial sustenance – other men went and were never heard from, living children and wives behind.

Latter-day influences - women own their own homes, thus they have the right to show insolence and disregard to a man that is trying his best to forge a loving life for her and their children. At times a vociferous vituperation of this man’s manhood.  

It is one thing to have a man that is indolent and  therefore chastised by his spouse for his indolence, however another to have a committed man, who is treated like dirt for trying his best to hold his family life together, because he earns less or nothing at all.  In some circumstances these women go as far as hiding food from their spouse – starving them.     

Autonomy has created a new role for women. A role that is abused by others and nurtured by those women who understand the meaning and power of financial influence in their homes, communities and nations.    

WORD TO A NEW SEX-GENDER INFLUENCE REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala 

http://www.facebook.com/SAKAZI

AN ORDINARY SOUTH AFRICAN, LIVING IN EXTRAORDINARY TIMES

In the face of this gregarious, communist-capitalist-social alliance, political dillydallying order, one wonders about the psychosomatic well-being of ordinary South Africans living in such challenging, uncomforting, extraordinary times – our streets amass by monthly dole queues; children grant queues; police brutality; road/freeway toll-fees; transportation hikes; disgruntled workers marching for a better percentage; global austerity measures, corrupt officials; demented religious-renegades; xenophobia and sick homophobias. Where are all these unnecessary scandalously filled activities taking us, as a nation?

If the African National Congress (ANC) as a ruling party gets its way – ordinary South Africans might wake up one of these days without the right to speak their minds on corruption, or reporting private and public maladministration.

The Secrecy  Bill or Protection of Information Bill ( to be renamed: Protection of State Information Bill), poses the biggest threat in our egalitarian state.  Can you imagine government officials guffawing in the faces of voters about the things they do unbeknown to the general public, to enrich themselves or incurring state assets to advance their own interests, without legal reprimand?  

The channelling of power in these extraordinary times, which aims to curtailing the right to classify information to the Defence Force, the Police and Intelligence Services, such as the Hawks, “with a provision for other departments to apply to classify information on the grounds of national security” – is surely a ploy for the ruling party to cease and suppress efforts of any opposition in its incumbency, therefore prolonging its governing hand indefinitely.  

An ordinary South African and voter will be duped, mainly due to the reason that  the Defence Force, the Police and Intelligence Services ( National Intelligence Agency, abbreviated as NIA), are all controlled and led by ANC appointed representatives. The information that will be selectively filtered through to the general public will be permeated to the purpose of manipulating, dictating, and blinding mother justice, and all its citizenry to what is really going on behind closed doors of bureaucratic offices.  Where is the transparency in all of this?     

A loop-hole was inconveniently discovered during Thabo Mbeki and Jacob Zuma’s  tint debacle that the information put forward to the National Prosecution Authority (NPA) cannot be utilized as  the cellphone tapings cannot hold up in court as circumstantial evidence due the vagueness of legislation regarding “tapped information” and “cellphone number/owner identification”. New cards were dealt – RICA came into effect, but the perpetrators of the arms deal debacle still walk-tall in all government sectors.    

It is written in the cards that South Africa stands to become one of the greatest, powerful nations in the world, when power sharing squabbles, standards of our infrastructure in every municipality, cost of living and our education system are institutionalised properly.       

Surely, with the secrecy bill that’s threateningly looming if and when constitutionalised;  the ruling party will see it fit to eliminate any person or group that stands critically in opposition to its administrative structures, governing systems and implementation methods -  evading public interest.

Any patriotic South African will argue that National Security should be taken as the pinnacle defence mechanism of South African governing structures, and its Constitution, however with corruption running rampant amongst the ruling party’s leaders, subordinates and sub-sectors. Passing a bill that supports curtailing journalists, and members of the public from probing and perusing crucial documents that will eradicate corruption - condemning patriotic South Africans to imprisonment for protecting the rights of ordinary citizenry. Then what was the aim of fighting for our democracy?            

In these egalitarian times, as an ordinary South African living in extraordinary state of affairs; the youthful leader chanting political revolutionary nationalisation dogma, growth-path debates and disenfranchised corrupt politicians secretly dodging palatial correctional places.  One can clearly see the remnants of greedy public officials in the psychosomatic attitudes of ordinary citizens.

WORD TO A NEW EXTRA EXTRAORDINARY REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

STRUTTING HABIT EN ROUTE TO PSYCHOSIS

Habitual societal stratification does determine the emotional route or mindset formulation that will create an individual’s persona – perspective upon other individuals, surroundings and society, in its entirety.  Habitual existence governs normal, and extraordinary obscene habits.    

It is said that human-beings are “habitual beings”. However, can some of our habits conscientiously debate the simplicity in our quest to self-annihilate, when our dominoes of being are uncompromisingly striated to tip pressingly against our ill-begotten aspirations.

Take a thief for instance: is a thief a thief because he/she decided to be a thief after having dreamt about being a thief; or is a thief a thief because he/she had a ‘calling’ to be a thief – a bad habit to have. No! Had thieving been a ‘calling’ no one would get caught doing the thieving thing anyway. It’s a calling! However in society there are people who have a certain calling for certain faculties in the strata of life that are caught thieving, therefore are regrettably pronounced “thieves”- kleptomaniacs.   

The process of being a criminal element or thief is rooted in the abnormal habitual habits, when an ordinary being is injected into unusual circumstances, at very uncompromising times, which gradually creates a monster inside them – psychopathic tendency.

A person that insistently do abnormal things to circumvent the ordinary, or counter the humanistic ethical part in their organic existence, making them think that they are invincible to everything and everyone in their ill-begotten quest. This leads to an individual falling into extraordinary obscene habits that will eventually be abstract to what their persona is. An ill-disposed persona that aims to convert everything and everyone in its paths to complement who they are, no matter what – psychopathic tendency.          

People are “habitual beings”, evidently it is normal for a constrained individual to break free from a person or system that tries to restrain their habitualness. It is human nature to unshackle the demoralising shackles of a bully - this is a realistic reoccurring fact. It is in light of this that an abusive hand in its mission to control its environment falls into a bad habit of violently commanding and gesticulating its preemptive power over the supposedly weak dim-witted hand.      

                

The crude part about falling into any habit, whether good or bad, is that when a habit takes over, the behaviour-ensnared individuals finds themselves on an eclectic addictive hypnotic self-observed, self-annihilation state. It is in this state that individuals lose themselves and their mental-fortitude in the mysterious dimness of a raging habit.

There is an inflexible hitching fecundity in individual’s ghastly habits that beckons their morbid psychosis, disjointing the life that they lead into the tumultuous confines of mental insanity. Inside these confines lays a psychopathic killer, strutting normality and uncontrollable obsession.       

WORD TO A NEW HABITUAL PERSONA REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala 

http://www.facebook.com/SAKAZI