PARENTS WHO USE THEIR CHILDREN AS SHIELDS

A bad relationship can wield a stack of unwarranted nasty warring manoeuvres from two people who use to admire each other, but find themselves fighting an emotional war that leaves no emotional casualties. One of these spiteful tactics is using the child/children as a pawn(s) to make the other partner mentally and emotionally wounded.

Parents who use their children as shields are not only embroiled in a dangerous affair of destroying their own lives, but also stand to annihilate the lives of innocent bystanders that did not ask to be part of their selfish war.  

What parents do in such situations of a desperate ploy to appease their own hurt, and inflict much needed damage to the other spouse – format damaging statements about the other partner to their child/children, or make them respond in an inappropriate manner in front of their children/child. Creating a chaotic verbal confrontation, which leads to physical abuse.

The children end up with a view that their parent is a nothing that can be respected or regarded as an important entity in their lives – even if they were not the ones that initiated the scuffle. This summons more animosity between the couple, an endless circle of abuse.

At times the circle of  ill-treatment resort to name calling on the children/child’s part because their mother or father told them to brand their spouse as such and such. And chose to being insolent and disregarding of their parent’s feelings and property.  The child/children becomes an emotion threat and destructive bridge that can never be crossed – which leads to a partner exiting the relationship/marriage entirely, erasing their children from their lives in the process.   

    

Using your child/children as a pawn(s) in an emotional battle to gain control over your partner  culminates in a lose-lose situation, without positive reprimand.

If children/child goes through life without having experienced a different love or relationship situation and environment besides, the one between his/her parents; grows up thinking that relationships are a repugnant union – therefore the same situation is perpetuated time and again.

The pinches of relationship repression become ever so much harder to surmount, when the child/children turn against you as a parent because of a brawl between you and your spouse, especially when you are committed to being emotionally, physically and financially responsible towards them.   

  

There are better channels that can be used to remedy the situation without resorting to spreading emotional animosity between a child/children and their other parent.           

It is humanly acceptable to feel hurt when your partner or spouse becomes emotionally and physically negligent towards you and your feelings, however it is not acceptable to intentionally turn your child/children against their parent because, you had a fallout with them.      

Parents who use their children as shields in their relationships, end up destroying their own children.

WORD TO A NEW CHILD PROTECTION REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala