Whose World Is It Anyway?

South Africans are perturbed and perplexed as to what their roles are in today’s society. Whose world is it? Men do not know where their abilities and responsibilities lay in this great societal paradigm shift. Women believe that they are still embroiled in the struggle against men and their macho chauvinistic ways, thus they aim at eradicating a man’s role in all social status – a rather superficial view point. Do we want to live in a man’s or woman’s world, or would we rather live in a human world?

The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed. It all has to do with their pursuit of happiness and how they intend on achieving their dreams or reaching their destiny. This is determined by their upbringing and personal machination, including their love relationships.

Men and women have been engrossed in various discourses about the rights and roles of women and whether they should be allowed in leadership roles in politics and business. Men have been blamed on everything that goes wrong in women’s lives. The global discourse about the rights of women within the public arena, and their role as mothers in their home environment have weakened the parapets that link good hearted men and women further, feeding the bigotry that has long marked women as objects of sexual pleasure and men as ultimate abusers .

Women have played the role of victim for years and have forgotten to reflect on what their role was (in some cases still is), for them to become victims. Acknowledging your role in your relationship and comprehending the type of contribution you bring within your loving-relationship that leads a woman to hating men for what they are, or that leads a man to many other woman’s arms. Some would argue that a loving-relationship is strengthened in the bedroom, conversely relationship victims are created in the bedroom. However the type of promises and expectations that we want our relationships to be can lead to a lot of resentment and finger-pointing, which summons anger between you and your partner. When resentment enters your relationship, respect, trust and honesty dies; and communication channels expire. Some men will fail to see what they had to contribute to their relationship’s demise, and try to quell the arguments with his fists. Not all men use women as punching bags, so they opt to walk away instead of shielding the shouting wars in their bedroom.

The whole argument about women wanting to take over the world started with the type of treatment that their grandfathers gave their grandmothers, what their fathers did to their mothers and why her husband sits in a Tavern for six hours after work before coming home drunk. A little girl watching her mother being turned into a punching bag will grow up loathing men and will expect a similar treatment from men that her mother suffered. As a result, she develops a mental defense mechanism that is acted out towards men.

In the corporate and leadership world, a former victim of abuse aims to eliminate and control everything that is male. An Amazon, a heroine-warrior that will show all men that they are not needed by any woman, except in the bedroom as sexual objects and sperm donors - thence will teach all her women mentors that men are objects to be used in a war against masculine domination. The circle of abuse is now being perpetuated by those who were meant to nurture and protect – creating structures that sideline men.

What about responsible men? Men, who go out in the world, work hard to bring shelter, food and warmth for his children and his wife but, also receive a similar abusive treatment by a woman who cares nothing about his efforts, because her neighbour bought a glamorous car or a opulent expensive ring for her wife – why can’t he do the same? In measuring your man with other men, he seizes to be inadequate to your means and your world, therefore becomes redundant in bringing sustenance, in any form or shape for your livelihood.

Comparing men with women is an impossibly, weirdly tricky task because woman are in the league of their own – women can bear children, women are tender nurturing beings that need assistance from a manly figure that is capable to love, understand and support her, excluding abuse. The democratic struggle against men, which women have created for themselves, is a war that needs to be fought with brains in every level of society without sidelining boys that will grow up and be men. Instead, women should aim negating the stigmas that led to creating this gender bias notion – abuse being an imperative gender separating attributing factor.

A woman in power should gain the same respect and honor as a man in power. It all has to do with character and the leadership qualities that are brought on the corporate or political table. In the same concept, young men deceive the type of mentorship as young women - if their mental ability marches the criterion of being mentored to a leadership role, both sexes need to be given the same opportunities. The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed.

WORD TO A NEW GENDER DIALOGUE REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala