DESTRUCTION OF CHARACTER

A destruction of characters is imminent in any family or communal environment, due to types of personalities that seek to learn the ways of the world - thus conflict with other personalities. Conflicting personalities will always sprout up as powers of different characters want to prove to others that they are the ‘ultimate personality’. A meaningful cohesion should be reached when personalities enter into any dialogue or communication channel. This should be done by each party to accommodate one another; to avoid personalities from ‘self-annihilation’ or a ‘self-destructive personality’ that is created by a lack of confidence in each person.

In a home environment you need to find common ground in harmonizing different personal characters. Common ground needs to be found when different characters fuse in any communal environment to make relations intertwine in a way that builds character for any individual, ultimately building families, communities and nations – it is what I call, ‘Harmony of Characters’. If this is not achieved within a family structure ‘Self- Cognitive Development’ of any individual will be damaged at a very early age.

When a character of a man, woman, siblings or other characters fuse in a family structure, influenced by other relationships and the milieu they coexist in, a disharmony is bound to arise, because individuals cannot and will not act in a way that suites the next character. ‘Self – Cognitive Development’ is hampered when a different character fuses with characters that want them to act in a certain manner or as they do to situations pertaining to; love, sex, and relationships - behavioral patterns that destroy individuals.

‘Name-calling’ is one of the greatest techniques that abusers use to destroy others within a family, communal or social structure. When a little child grows up with a different view to the world which, other little children or siblings cannot see, that little child is bound to be subjected to name-calling. This technique of name-calling is evident between couples that perpetuate abusive tendencies that undeniably lead to physical abuse. Name-calling belittles a person, and makes then want to revolt against the instigator, which after a persistent verbal altercation, leads to a physical clash between two verbal abusers.

Name-calling leads to, psychological and emotional degradations to an abused child, thus affect their ‘Self-Cognitive Development’ - creating an emotional submissive personality towards others or the world at large that we label as ‘Introverts’ or reclusive character.

A reclusive character is a product of abuse through name-calling and belittlement by destructive characters that perpetuate abuse, as they themselves feel inadequate in their own environment. Reclusive characters turn to ‘self-annihilation’ as a cry for help. Self destructive personalities overindulge in things that destroy their personality more - things such as alcohol, sex, drugs, hatred and violence. As a form of revolt against their abusive perpetuators, reclusive characters become physical abusers themselves, which in an extreme situation leads them to be ‘serial-killers’, ‘dictators’, ‘homophobes’ or ‘misogynists’.

When I was growing up, some of my younger acquaintances did not realize that I myself was walking around with a lot of emotional baggage, so they turned to name-calling as a form of attack towards me. I was labeled a “Homo”, “Gay”, “Mama’s boy” and “FB” or “Father-Baby” by people I respected in my school and communal environments. My neighbours feared me, so they also perpetuated the name-calling abuse – thus I labeled myself a “Loner” and only spoke to individuals that saw me for who I am and what I could be. I am not Gay, however I respect Gays and Lesbians as equals and do not address then with any sexist remarks or sexual connotations that will disrespect them as individuals. Consequently, I do not appreciate Gay men who disrespect me as a heterosexual man and want me to conform to their natured ways.

Destructive characters succumb to verbal, emotional and physical abuse to annihilate ‘Self- Conscious’ personalities that refrain from perpetuating similar abusive tendencies in any environment. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are those that aim to speak and not shout, to love and not hate, to mend and not break, to build and preserve. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals aim at seeking development solutions for others through cultural, economical, social liberties that enhances individual growth. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are pacifist at heart and are against abuse of any kind. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are nonentities, who are belittled and who learn to rise above verbal, emotional, and physical abusers and become leaders in their own right.

The duality of characters in any environment needs to be acknowledged as masculine and feminine characteristics cannot and will not coexist, if there is no ‘harmony of characters’ within a family, communal or societal milieu. It all starts with us as individual to restrain ourselves to perpetuating abusive tendencies towards others. Abusive tendencies such as sexual abuse, alcoholic abuse, drug abuse, and physical abuse can be expunged through self-respect, which will filter through to communal and societal structures. Men and women need to respect each other, and acknowledge that they are not similar in character and physic, therefore teach our future generations to respect individual characters, and ‘self-cognitive development’ of any individuals.

WORD TO A NEW SELF-AWARENESS REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala