Sunday, February 14, 2010

SELF-LOVE: The importance of loving yourself

The importance of loving yourself forms a resolute base in your humanity - who you are, where your origins are and where you are destined to go. Self-love is vital as it is the base for yourself affirmation and self-confidence. A destructive personality lacks self-love and cannot show or teach another to love or accentuate love in its real form – action.

Love is action – how you treat each other in a relationship will determine the latitude and longevity of your love; acting love is also an emotional triptych to all your friendships and acquaintances – showing hate gives back hate, showing love gives back love. Acting love comes in different forms; one being self-love – the ability to realize that you cannot love another unless you love yourself; two, exuding that love in everything you do; three, talk the talk and walk the talk – act on your promises; four, ability to know when you have faulted and acknowledge that you have; five, good communication – know where you stand and where your partner stands on your relationship is critical.

When you have self-love, you have trust in your ability to love whole-heartedly without giving away your responsibility, independence and self-respect to another person. Self-love affirms yourself realization and power to be in control to everything that comes your way and be ready to shed off disappointments from the people that you have entrusted your love to. Understanding that no one will love you as much as you love yourself, breathes understanding on why people tell you they love you and why they will err in their ways of loving, eventually ending their love. This also lays in association with knowing that you can never force anyone to love you, unless they love you for who you are. Forceful love needs a lot of convincing which eventually comes in materialistic forms, heartaches and unhappiness.

Material-love is what I call ‘outside conformation’ – When an individual needs conformation that their partner truly loves them or that they are truly loved, then their self-love cannot sustain their them through life’s hardships and obstacles that they need to overcome on their own. Material-love withers with time and does not and will not help a relationship that’s in trouble. It is the same with sexual-affirmation; when you love is base overtly, entirely on sexual contact, without honest communication, self-love is nonexistent, thus there is no loving relationship, only lust.

Learning that your partner loves you doesn’t mean that you own them and that they in turn own you, and should control your every move and association with other people. Self-love does not control, therefore help in building a concrete relationship by allowing self-development without closing opportunities for your lover with your jealousy. Over-protectiveness puts a strain to a loving relationship, sooner or later killing it. Jealousy places the perpetrator in an emotional prison and can be quelled through an open, trusting love with an innocent communication channel between partners.

The power to love depends on your power to show self-love, respect and independents and having the power to find inner love that is eternal. The type of love that keeps your fire for life burning, love that can resist abuse and learn to love again; love that can hold on to a one true-love and fight all temptations seeking to extinguish that loving flame. A love that will love you and love what your relationship or marriage procreates.

This importance of loving yourself can never be denied, it is vital for self-sustenance, self-respect and self-development. Loving yourself should not make you too complaisant, naïve or arrogant. However bear in mind that with no self-love your dignity is hampered.

When you love yourself in this world - the impossible turns into possible, and you learn to follow your heart’s desire reaching out to others honestly, without reservations or hidden agendas. Pure love is not confirmed by material-love; however pure love attracts honest love. In all the joys and pains in this life real love warms your heart and sees you through hardships. When you love yourself, your mister or miss right becomes a reality. Love and love big, never forget to love yourself.

WORD TO A NEW LOVING REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Thursday, January 28, 2010


This life is for me to tame
To walk in the halls of fame
With the legendary kings in the game
To learn from the best not lame
In the sphere of hope, I rhyme
Smear thy nemesis with shame
My dreams for now in rime
This life is for me to tame
All in good time

THE SACRED SPACE OF SEXUALITY

Sexual preference is a personal entity that is guided by sensual desires from each individual, which are feelings that are instinctive and secretive. Some issues relating to sexuality are anomalous in nature and should be kept behind closed doors - however due to the voyeuristic society that we live in, sexuality is no longer a taboo issue and matters that should be kept out of the public eye are dealt with publicly.

Teenage promiscuity is one of the greatest concerns of our society. We teach our teenagers to protect themselves from Sexual Transmitted Infections (S.T.Is), and H.I.V/AIDS with disposable condoms. We teach young girls to protect themselves from premature births through birth control pills and injections and yet society welcomes infants yearly from teenagers. Are condoms and birth control mechanisms being used? In past decades the scourge of H.I.V/AIDS has ravaged the African continent and the world at large. The rate of H.I.V/AIDS and other infections has increased and millions of South Africans are at risk of contracting this rampaging pandemic.

Rape, is one of the most inhuman, heartless diabolical ways that leads to sexual apathy, leaving its victim reaped of their dignity and pride. At times, a victim of rape is tainted with a deadly mark of H.I.V/AIDS and emotional scars for life. Rape victims find attachment and sacredness of sexuality with another person an emotional turnoff and an unwanted burden, however on the flipside; for emotional validation, rape victims use sexuality as escapism from their emotional pain they suffered, thus become promiscuous in the hope of extinguishing their pain. According to D.A Louw and D.J.A Edwards from the book, ‘PSYCHOLOGY: An introduction for students in southern Africa’ - sexual drive is said to be, “physiologically-based, in humans it is influenced, to a very large degree, by psychological and environmental factors.” (1993: 445) Rape victims after being raped, see their environment as a prison they need to escape from - therefore, to them there is no sacredness to sexuality.

Pedophilia forms a big part to sexual anomaly, which has left young boys and girls with a significant psychological laceration that impel, in most cases, some individuals to repeat the same circle that was perpetrated to them - when not dealt with through physiological and psychological healing, can set a never ending bend of abusers at times reaching far as creating serial killers.

At times verbal, physical and emotional abuse can and does contribute to sexual deviations with two people who are accustomed to a loving sacred space between them. Verbal tension or lack of communication does drive partners to commit infidelity, which places them at a risk of contracting the virus - however this is not the only factor. A number of women surreptitiously complain about how they are ashamed of their sexuality, when their husbands come home drunk to a pulp, thus go out to seek a sacred space from other man. Alcohol abuse can leave a man delusional, thinking that they are contributing fully to their spousal sexual relation, when in reality they do not - which does prove that the environment factors and psychological thinking of an individual alters their way of sexual perception and contributes to their relationship.

In Greek mythology, Aphrodite the Goddess of beauty and sexual desire was attributed to all things that are good and pleasurable to the sacred space of sexuality. The Babylonians, Assyrians, Greeks, and Romans erected sculptures of such Goddesses as Aphrodite and Venus to celebrate sexuality millenniums ago. This was done in such elegance and finesse which helped chronicle the behavioral patterns of ancient civilizations towards sexuality and the physical aesthetics to it. The Indians propel this to the art of Karma Sutra, which is a Hindu and Buddhist philosophy of celebrating the Goddess of love and procreation.

The sacred space of sexuality is a space that needs to be respected between an individual and their significant other – be it a heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual relation. This emotive factor behind sexuality, which is its fundamental role, for a man and a woman to bond and ultimately consummate their relationship and at times procreate thus help generate the human race.

WORD TO A NEW SEXUAL REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Thursday, January 14, 2010

PLEASURES OF SOUND

The one way of communication that has had and still has an endurable influential impact on old and new traditions, and trends - bridging cultural connections with a melodic evolution to humankind’s existence and people that love the pleasures of sound - is music. With the beating of drums civilization tuned its lineage of sound and musical beats, emanating from different regions in the world, altering and forging values and traditions of all tribes, groups and nations.

The spiritual attachment to sound is a universally known philosophical wisdom, which eons ago prompted spiritual religious cults to spring-up amongst uncivilized tribal populace – chanting, raving rhymes that later evolved into song (groups that are still evident to date). Cultural cults that intertwined with their community bringing song and entertainment to them by reinterpreting, enacting and creating lyrical tales that brought emotional enrichment and fulfillment - ultimately leading certain cults that were originally religious groups forming liberal musical groups that took the gift of song to another level.

This level of communication with sound, evolved into alternative genres that were originally defined from the gesticulating, hypnotizing sounds of the drum to sounds of Rhythm & Blues (Rn’B), Rock, Rap, Disco, Grunge, Reggae, Hip Hop, Jazz, Kwaito, House Music, Ragga, Country Music, Pop and Kwela (dominated by the sounds of the flute).

It is to such sounds of melodic tempo which I found myself immersed and mesmerized at a very young age during 1980s. I would watch my Bab’Mkhulu and his friends swaying and swinging to the musical sounds of Jazz and Kwela legends from the early hours of Saturday morning until the late hours of that day. The sounds of Abigail Kubeka, Lady’s Smith Black Mambazo, Hugh Masekela, Brenda Fassie, Stimela, Caiphus Semenya’s Ziphi’inkomo and Letta Mbulu’s Nomalizo reverberating all day, after the day’s humble beginning with bitter-sweet protest sounds of Jazz from Mariam Makeba and Harry Belafonte, African Jazz Pioneers with Kid Mawrong’rong blowing hard on his sax (God bless Mr. Ralulimi). Encouraged by the legendary Ray Charles fiddling with the piano through our Panasonic speakers, in the mid-afternoons with Hit the Road Jack, supported by Stevie ‘Mr. Wonderful’ Wonder’s songs from the album ‘Songs in the Keys of Life’ and the smell of Braai on our make-shift braai-stand and bellowing voices of intoxicated men; I would emulate Ray and Stevie’s famous swaying and facial expressions, pretending to be them (Jamie, that was my role son!). However my personal favorites were the late performing artists, Pop legend Michael Jackson and the king of Reggae, Bob Marley.

In the early 1990s when the cadence of Disco music was reaching its probable end, giving birth to the higher-tempo of House music; Kwaito and Afro-Pop became a new revolutionary statement for the youth of South Africa. Arthur Mafokate was the leader in this new Kwaito genre that will prove to be stronger than Mkhukhu, Maskandi or Bubble gum sounds that had dominated South Africa’s Bantu radio stations in the 1980s. Kalawa Records was born, with the likes of Thebe, Oscar ‘Oskido’ Mlangeni, Bruce Sebitlo, Boom Shaka, Bongo Muffin, Alaska, and Mafikizolo started rocking the South African music scenes. Independent players in the game of Kwaito emerged – Mdu Masilela, Joe Nina, Zola, HHP and TKzee proved to be worthy competitors altering the sound to a more lovable alternative tune with different compositions. Compositions that later in 2003 gave birth to an elusive balaclava character named Mzekezeke, with the late T.K showcasing her beautiful sensual Rn’B voice in South Africa.

Then, foreign sounds from prominent Rn’B, Rock, Pop and Rap music icons like Bono, Sting, Nirvana, Vanilla Ice, Chris Cross, Tupac Shakur, Aaron Hall, Dr Dre, Jay Z, Snoop Dogg, Foxy Brown, Lil’Kim, Nas, Mos’Def, MC Lite, Notorious B.I.G, Salt n’ Pepper, LL Cool J, The Fugees, Michael Jackson, Johnny Gill, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collins, Elton John, Boyz ІІ Men, Brandy, PM Dawn, R Kelly, et al – were shaping the future of music globally, with Eminem, Kanye West and The Black Eyed Pease joining the fray on the turn of the millennium.

Today’s melodies and lyrical content, predominantly in the South African and American music industries need to be beefed up. When artists in the United States came out in support of a statement that was made by one of their colleague that, ‘Hip Hop is dead’ it was a collective truth the world was waiting to hear. The death of Hip Hop is brought on by the number of newer artists, sampling and repeating the same lyrics that were done decades ago. In some cases when a song is sampled and remixed, that improves the song drastically, conversely when older ‘hit songs’ are sampled changing them for the worse, it makes the music industry look like a superfluous music factory that lacks creativity.

Information overload is one of the tools that contributed to the death of the Hip Hop genre globally since the dawn of this millennium. Technological gadgets that allow people to download music not only led to killing the music industry worldwide, however played a hand in slumping the financial remuneration aimed at improving the industry and the artist’s livelihood on albums sales. In South Africa archetypes of American artists and beats made it difficult for our music to penetrate overseas markets due to local artists emulating the type of sound that has dominate the world over.

Musicians and writers who come up with their own lyrical content and structure in this industry help in advancing the musical revolution in this difficult stage of the entertainment industry. The frustrations felt by musician are also evident in their fans, with music taking a redundant route and rocketing album prizes.

In my household we embraced the joys and pleasures of sound. Music that began with the beat of the drum, music that aims at disseminating political, cultural, religious, and any societal ills that need to be addressed in camouflage - music that aim at bridging the gap of inequality; celebrating new love and rekindling old love, forging friendships, a remembrance and authenticity of life.

WORD TO A NEW MUSICAL REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Community Radio: The Voice of Tembisa

The Voice of Tembisa or V.O.T as it is affectionately known is a community radio station based at T-Shad in Sangweni section, Tembisa that was established by Reynold Nkwe, together with the community of Tembisa, at 87.6 FM, which targets close to a hundred thousand listeners within the peripheries of Tembisa and surrounding areas, including Alexandra Township.

The station was first inaugurated on the 5th of December, 1997, however due to a lack of funds and sponsorship, the project was then placed into remission and disappeared from the community scenes, nearly two years after its inception.

On the 3rd of December, 2005, V.O.T reopened its doors with the biggest salutation from the community of Tembisa, bringing along a glimmer of hope and a promise that, the future will not repeat the calamities of the past. However, according to the then acting Station Manager Portia Zwane, who also presented a mid-morning show, called REFLECTION, between nine and twelve; the station was still facing major problems due to improper behavior by certain individuals who are reluctant to follow the ethical codes of ICASA (Independent Communications Authority of South Africa), which is the governing body to rules and regulations concerning Broadcast Media.

The board members selected to represent the community reflect a false image of the community and are not as instrumental to influencing the content needed to develop the identity of the radio station - consists of forty-five staff members and a board of ten members that were selected from prominent community leaders. The Broad of Representatives is a pendulum that boasts an equal equity of gender with five females and five males in the board. Including the station's Program's Manager, the Marketing Department, News Desk, and the Public Relations Officer. Most of the members are not full-time employed due to a lack of funds in the station and little resources available for the technical side of the production.

The Voice of Tembisa Community Radio to my opinion is still a baby that needs to be nurtured and directed to the adult steps of Regional Radio station like Youth FM (YFM, 99.2), KASI FM (Katlehong) and JOZI FM (Community Radio)). Even though it is a community radio station nothing can restrict the station to follow in the footsteps of these larger radio stations. However due to management squabbles and infighting by Board members, reaching that goal seems to be an insurmountable dream.

The Management of the station needs to be changed with a more free-flowing constructed structure and format established. The station lacks the spirit of youthful zest that a young Community Radio Station evidently must have in order for it to generate more Share and Reach which are the most important elements that support the growth of the station.

The future of radio in Tembisa is a struggle to the ears of the Tembisans and needs a competent team of educated young bloods to emancipate the community from the shackles of bad radio. The community needs to standup, particularly the youth and enhance the standards of radio in Tembisa.

WORD TO A NEW MAMBISA RADIO REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Thursday, December 31, 2009

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

What is freedom? Freedom is defined as; "The right to do or say what you
want without anyone stopping you: freedom of speech/ thought! Expression / worship/ threat to press! Academic freedom or rights and freedom guaranteed by the constitution; freedom of information..." (OD: 473) The media has fell under scrutiny regarding its discrepancies in challenging the unfortunate deeds of the past and eradicating racial, cultural and sexual slurs. With freedom of expression arise such questions: Does freedom of expression exist in our South Africa media? Are we as a country, still trapped in the wrong-doings of the past?

Press freedom lays in correlation with freedom of expression; if fact some scholars would argue that, they are identical under the association of expressionist ideals. Freedom of expression in South Africa has long been forthcoming since the days of manufactured separation and oppression. As many would argue that South Africa is still reeling from the parallels of the past and the media is learning to adapt to our newly found democratic state and freedom of expression. South Africa has various organizations that govern the endorsement of freedom of the press and public expressionism, in a wider context. Organizations such as the Freedom of Expression Institute (FXI) and the South Africa National Editor's Forum (SANEF) together with the Media Institute of South Africa (MISA) form a confederation of press freedom regulators in our society, which promotes the philosophy of freedom of speech. This motion of free speech to all is closely entrenched within the scripted confines of our constitution, which is recognized by Guy Lundy, in his publication on South Africa's press freedom, who states:

"The Bill of Rights in the South African Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to which includes freedom of the press and other media, freedom to receive or impart information, freedom of artistic creativity, academic freedom and freedom of scientific research." (Lugy: 2006)

3rd of May Press Freedom Day, an internationally based organization; Reporters Without Borders (RSF), marked South Africa as one of leading countries in the world, in implementing and maintaining press freedom and freedom of speech, in comparison to countries such as the United Kingdom and Australia. South Africa was the highest ranked country in Africa and was described by RSF as having 'freedom', which in essence is a giant leap from the country's censorship laws of the 198 neighbours, Namibia, Botswana and Zimbabwe. (Lugy: 2006)

In the late nineties; teacher, novelist and globe-trotter Paul Theroux, interviewed Nobel Prize laureate for literature, Nadine Gordimer about freedom of expression in South Africa after the press disapproved on her new novel; July's People, which was aimed for publications to South African schools. However was deemed "too racist" by the Book Selection Committee in the Gauteng Province Education Department. The premise of their banning of the book was that, the book does not represent the truth about the situation in our country. Nadine Gordimer notes that censorship in South Africa has never been simple and that South Africa has a long way to go in being totally transparent in its views of freedom of expression. (Theroux P: 2002)

The ripples of press freedom were felt by the South African society, when a prominent pebble, the now President Jacob Zuma, then former Deputy President of the Republic of South Africa, was thrown into the dam of public scrutiny after rape charges were laid against him by a lady who alleged, Zuma was her uncle and allegedly raped her in his home. The media was banned from the hearing of this case by the police and The Star's journalist and photographer were prevented from attending the hearing. The newspaper was apparently told by the then; Area Commissioner Reddy that the hearing was "highly confidential" and that no one was allowed in. Jonathan Shapiro, famously known as Zapiro - a satirist cartoon illustrator faced a lawsuit from President Jacob Zuma for illustrating the events of his rape charges from a satiric point of view.

This also brings to mind the case of the then, disgraced cricketer, captain of the South African team, Hansie Cronjie, who appeared before the commission of inquiry regarding charges of match-fixing. The press was for the first time in the history of South Africa, given permission to be allowed to broadcast live pictures of the hearing on television. A sensible individual would ask; why is it, when government officials are involved in any corruption scandals the press is given bad treatment by authorities. And when ordinary citizens are guilty in the same magnitude as members of parliament, they are exposed with the full wrath of the Press.

In Graham Greer's: A NEW INTRODUCTION TO JOURNALISM, he states that journalist have an obligation to defend the freedom of the press at all times and that this obligation comes with the job, but can lead to difficult decisions and painful consequences for the journalist (Greer G; p23). Zimbabwe is a perfect example of journalist living with their hard felt consequences under the governments tough censorship laws and Mugabe's dictatorship, however Zimbabwe is not the only country in the southern hemisphere that prohibits its press from exercising the right to freedom of expression.

"Freedom of the press belongs to the people. It must be defended against encroachment or assault from any quarter, public or private. Journalists must be constantly alert to see that the public's business is conducted in public. They must be vigilant against [watch out for] all who would exploit the public for selfish purposes." (Greer: 1999)

Ultimately freedom prevails and South Africa has bear witness to hash bannings of expression during its racial turmoil years and open expression in the current xenophobia, service delivery protests. South Africa will overcome all these revolutionary activities and be a champion in the African continent for its human rights laws, including freedom of speech.

When we as a nation, as South Africans, as citizens of the world, will in the impression of Martin Luther King Jr. proclaim: "When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from our hearts, from our homes and communal settings, from our streets to the boardroom and in all the places that breath human dignity, our voices will be heard. When all individuals in the public arena will sing: “Freedom of expression at last! Freedom of expression at last! Thank God almighty we are free to express what we want!"

WORD TO A NEW REVOLUTION!

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Noeleen vs.Oprah: Whose the Queen of Talk?

The global playing fields that were impenetrable owing to sanctions that were imposed to our cherished country, pre-democratic South Africa pertaining to entertainment, were in 1992 open for all to exploit. With the release of prominent iconic leaders such as Nelson Mandela and the now late, Walter Sisulu, (that were incarcerated in Robben Island for twenty seven years). This life altering political exploitation led to freedom of expression thus, enabling international media, both print and broadcast to influence our programming and dissemination of information by the public broadcaster, SABC (South African Broadcasting Corporation), owing to the lack of local programmes that would have suited our new political dispensation. These programmes incorporated soapies, comedy, dramas and specifically talk shows, which were all, except for a few, derived from American broadcasting networks.

Our patriotism, in particular black pride, relied solely on the America talk show queen, Oprah Winfrey, shown on SABC 3 weekdays at five-thirty to six-thirty p.m. Who is thought of by many as the ultimate queen of talk show television, in America and abroad thus, penetrating an overseas market that view her as a gospel of truth that has dawned to eradicate the mediocrity of the world therefore, bringing a notable revolution to all that needs it in their tawdry delicate lives. Oprah Winfrey is an inspiration to many who seek solace and escapism from their brawny pursuits of happiness that overwhelm them in their daily ambles. Her show is full of colourful camaraderie derived from many topical issues within the peripheries of America culture and global wisdom.

Miss '0', as Oprah is affectionately known, focuses mainly on the spiritual health of individuals and societal enhancement through education, healthy-living, exercise, entertainment, celebrity interviews and personal enrichment. The Oprah Winfrey talk show is one of the tools that Oprah utilizes to get across her ambitions and devotions to the world apart from her six year old baby, the 0 Magazine and her year-old talk radio station dubbed, "Oprah and friends".

Around the world, particularly in South Africa, (during the 1990’s) pretenders of talk show television such as Felicia Mabuza Suttle, who dandled viewers about her experiences in America, with her famous line; "When I was in America" were, I think it is already noted, Miss 0 is from. Struggled, (struggle, being the imperative word), to keep viewers locked to their sits with imitations from the Oprah Winfrey show. With poor quality editing in visuals and sound, which ultimately led to Felicia's bowing out of South Africa and our screens, uncelebrated, departing back to her adopted land America. Leaving some adorable fans bemused by her inapt exit.

Noeleen Mahulwana Sangqu, I believe is no pretender at all. Those who hate her must love her. As South Africa's newly crowned Queen of Talk on television in her show, 3 TALK, broadcast live weekdays from four to four fifty-five on SABC 3. Noeleen is as innovative, entertaining and informative as they come, of cause perceived in relation to the South African context, although there are a few topical issues to draw from in our environment. Noeleen tries unremittingly to blend pressing matters that reflect and shape our public opinions, within the South African culture and traditions, regardless of colour or race, focusing on the immediate issues affecting our society. The show does not copy from overseas programming, however accommodates international luminaries, as it does local celebrities, in if and when the need arises.

In her interview with True Love magazine, for the August issue of 2006, conducted by Thando Pato. Our Queen of Talk, Noeleen relates her views on turning forty and the road ahead beyond forty. She talks about her life experiences during her earlier years, and how she overcame obstacles in her path. Down playing her role in our society she jokingly state; "I don't understand why you guys want to put me on the cover. I'm so boring! I work on television, what else is there about me? I don't have any scandals and I haven't done anything that interesting. What else in there to know? What you see on TV is what you get. I'm no different,"

In contrast Noeleen Mahulwana Sangqu, does not measure up to the Queen of Queens, Oprah Winfrey, whose show is unquestionably the best the world has to offer ,with viewers from all around the globe and with financial backing that is beyond diminutive production houses as Urban Brew, that produces 3 TALK. In spite of this, Noeleen holds her own in South Africa and the African continent. She might not be the queen of talk in countries such as America, China and the United Kingdom but propels a revolutionary talk show that has placed its stamp in the South Africa archives for future generations to reflect on.

3 TALK is not only a show for the elite in South Africa, resembling the Oprah Winfrey show it generates most of its viewership from the needy, both emotionally and culturally, in our country. With Oprah ending her reign sometime in 2010, it remains to be seen who shall takeover her reign as queen in the states. Miss Oprah Winfrey, demonstrates the potential that South Africa can offer to the world with our Queen of talk, Noeleen, showing us the way.

WORD TO A NEW TALK QUEEN REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

ARE MEN IN CRISIS?

After years of scrutinizing South Africa’s political and social paradigm shift – I vehemently believe that South African men are in crisis, due to perceptions and expectations that society bestows on them regarding their brawny behaviour towards women and themselves. In today’s world certain men are no longer concerned with their family obligations or fatherly duties but, rather immense themselves with toxic substances like alcohol or even choose the road of absentia, both emotionally and physically - a realism that is supported by the number of young and older women who are left to bring up their children on their own. This has placed a lot of hardships on some relationships in certain cases living permanent scars, even affectionate love will not heal. I witness daily deprivation of our South African men, brought on by the expectations of being a provider and bread-winner in due course, driving other men to be abusive towards their spouse and children.

Men were brought up under the notion that crying is for ‘sissies’ and that real men do not shed any tears. You know what I say: “Tell that to the caveman!” Watching Noeleen’s show, Three Talk during 2007 - a certain gentleman on the panel commented that South African man need to learn to be ‘emotionally viable’ and that is not done through suppression of feelings, therefore man need to learn that emotions are what drives the core of who you really are and they determine the nature of your other relationships, be it with your lover, friends or acquaintances. Your emotions need to be re-evaluated daily in order for you to keep a constant balance of what your needs are and what society requires of you. Men who ignore their innate emotions end up trying to compensate for that by being either chauvinistic or abusive towards the opposite sex.

I commented, via telephone, on my experiences of under-going an initiation as a Healer that, you are taught not to suppress any of your feelings; however this does not equal me to a lesser man but, a spiritually intuitive one. And so I learned to control and reach an equilibrium between my female and male powers. A man that is not ‘emotional-viable’ is either a man that cannot support their family and finds it hard to cope or a man that is overlooked and disrespected for his hard work so finds it hard to be compassionate and loving towards his family.

Take my neighbourhood fore instance: We have more taverns than the are places for children to play constructive games that will improve their social and academic skills and it shames me to say there’s no single library on site, not even a park for that matter. Men go to these places after work as they say; to ‘distress’, then go home at mid-night, which makes me wonder, about the well being of the marriage, spouse, the children and to say the least, the perpetrator himself. Their solace is found in a bottle.

Most men believe that money holds the key to respect and love, in any relationship which of-course is unfortunately excruciatingly true. Women are also responsible for bringing this impression to reality, as in every game there are two players. Men who turn to crime are men who are face with a prisoner’s dilemma of whether to leave or stay, as we all know women need a provider and not just a grabber. This is depicted in the Grammy Award winning song by Kenya West that bellowed on our local radio stations: “I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger but, she ain’t messing with no broke, broke…Get down girl go ‘head get down!” The song illustrate satirical connotations, which places a price tag on love itself – in many cases, placing men in a crisis in terms of acceptance by our better half. This may seem untrue but, a man with deeper pockets can buy affection. It is what men have to deal with day in and day out and that’s the reality of the world we live in today. I can be a compassionate, loving, and caring non smoker, non drinker male but, if I don’t have no money most women won’t have me. So I choose to live by the words of Lauryn Hill: ‘Wisdom is better than silver and gold.” (The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill)

Our economic environment has undeniably changed over the years hence, allowing more and more women to venture into the corporate world and also creating a pathway into bringing about gender equity and an economic power balance. However most men are in crisis with this due to the government’s quota system as in most job applications they are left outside in the rain with women acquiring a larger percentage in the quota. I personally have no problem with the quota system because, I am feminist at heart and believe that everyone is created equal, women as well as men must be treated under the some light and no one must receive lesser opportunities.

My concerns though, lie with women and men who are obsessed with power and use that to influence everyone around them to get their way in the world. I have met a few people who are tyrannical in their endeavours in the world but, mostly emotionally tyrannical and I’m sorry to say that these were women. In one incident an old girlfriend of mine told me unequivocally that she is doing me a ‘favour’ by coming to visit me after we have been speaking on the phone for about two weeks, with me calling her every time. Now you tell me; where’s the compassion in those words? Maybe this was caused by my lack of education or my kindness, I don’t know and I will never know.

Yes, men are in a crisis - if it means their compliance to power is mistaken as weakness. Yes they are in crisis, if their respect is taken as uncompromising submission, if women in power treat men with the some chauvinistic ideals that our forefathers gave their women. Yes men are in crisis if they continue to be abusive to themselves and don’t look after the young generation.

Men have to realise that the age of change has arrived and that women have a right to the countries’ economical stake just as men had, ever since the dawn of time. We as a nation must open our eyes to the prosperity of our country in the global fields. The president needs to set a good example as the father of South Africans and bring the two forces that drive this nation together to enable a cohesion of minds and mobility to make South Africa one of the best in the world. Leaders must not degrade the men of this nation in the faces of their women - let us be men of honour and bring light and love to our country by dispelling all other notions of prejudice, sexism and inequality. Let true love reign!

WORD TO A NEW MEN REVOLUTION!

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Thursday, December 17, 2009

DESTRUCTION OF CHARACTER

A destruction of characters is imminent in any family or communal environment, due to types of personalities that seek to learn the ways of the world - thus conflict with other personalities. Conflicting personalities will always sprout up as powers of different characters want to prove to others that they are the ‘ultimate personality’. A meaningful cohesion should be reached when personalities enter into any dialogue or communication channel. This should be done by each party to accommodate one another; to avoid personalities from ‘self-annihilation’ or a ‘self-destructive personality’ that is created by a lack of confidence in each person.

In a home environment you need to find common ground in harmonizing different personal characters. Common ground needs to be found when different characters fuse in any communal environment to make relations intertwine in a way that builds character for any individual, ultimately building families, communities and nations – it is what I call, ‘Harmony of Characters’. If this is not achieved within a family structure ‘Self- Cognitive Development’ of any individual will be damaged at a very early age.

When a character of a man, woman, siblings or other characters fuse in a family structure, influenced by other relationships and the milieu they coexist in, a disharmony is bound to arise, because individuals cannot and will not act in a way that suites the next character. ‘Self – Cognitive Development’ is hampered when a different character fuses with characters that want them to act in a certain manner or as they do to situations pertaining to; love, sex, and relationships - behavioral patterns that destroy individuals.

‘Name-calling’ is one of the greatest techniques that abusers use to destroy others within a family, communal or social structure. When a little child grows up with a different view to the world which, other little children or siblings cannot see, that little child is bound to be subjected to name-calling. This technique of name-calling is evident between couples that perpetuate abusive tendencies that undeniably lead to physical abuse. Name-calling belittles a person, and makes then want to revolt against the instigator, which after a persistent verbal altercation, leads to a physical clash between two verbal abusers.

Name-calling leads to, psychological and emotional degradations to an abused child, thus affect their ‘Self-Cognitive Development’ - creating an emotional submissive personality towards others or the world at large that we label as ‘Introverts’ or reclusive character.

A reclusive character is a product of abuse through name-calling and belittlement by destructive characters that perpetuate abuse, as they themselves feel inadequate in their own environment. Reclusive characters turn to ‘self-annihilation’ as a cry for help. Self destructive personalities overindulge in things that destroy their personality more - things such as alcohol, sex, drugs, hatred and violence. As a form of revolt against their abusive perpetuators, reclusive characters become physical abusers themselves, which in an extreme situation leads them to be ‘serial-killers’, ‘dictators’, ‘homophobes’ or ‘misogynists’.

When I was growing up, some of my younger acquaintances did not realize that I myself was walking around with a lot of emotional baggage, so they turned to name-calling as a form of attack towards me. I was labeled a “Homo”, “Gay”, “Mama’s boy” and “FB” or “Father-Baby” by people I respected in my school and communal environments. My neighbours feared me, so they also perpetuated the name-calling abuse – thus I labeled myself a “Loner” and only spoke to individuals that saw me for who I am and what I could be. I am not Gay, however I respect Gays and Lesbians as equals and do not address then with any sexist remarks or sexual connotations that will disrespect them as individuals. Consequently, I do not appreciate Gay men who disrespect me as a heterosexual man and want me to conform to their natured ways.

Destructive characters succumb to verbal, emotional and physical abuse to annihilate ‘Self- Conscious’ personalities that refrain from perpetuating similar abusive tendencies in any environment. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are those that aim to speak and not shout, to love and not hate, to mend and not break, to build and preserve. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals aim at seeking development solutions for others through cultural, economical, social liberties that enhances individual growth. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are pacifist at heart and are against abuse of any kind. ‘Self-Conscious’ individuals are nonentities, who are belittled and who learn to rise above verbal, emotional, and physical abusers and become leaders in their own right.

The duality of characters in any environment needs to be acknowledged as masculine and feminine characteristics cannot and will not coexist, if there is no ‘harmony of characters’ within a family, communal or societal milieu. It all starts with us as individual to restrain ourselves to perpetuating abusive tendencies towards others. Abusive tendencies such as sexual abuse, alcoholic abuse, drug abuse, and physical abuse can be expunged through self-respect, which will filter through to communal and societal structures. Men and women need to respect each other, and acknowledge that they are not similar in character and physic, therefore teach our future generations to respect individual characters, and ‘self-cognitive development’ of any individuals.

WORD TO A NEW SELF-AWARENESS REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Monday, December 14, 2009

PUPPET SYSTEM

In the world of puppetry, indistinguishable strings are attached to little docile dolls of different colors, sizes and shapes. They are then given voices and maneuvering techniques by their puppetry masters, who control their body, legs and arms to their suitable tunes, giving them a mind – each master standing above the head of their little docile doll. The master bequeath total control over this lifeless docile little doll, entertaining onlookers - some of whom are themselves puppets of the world, if not being indoctrinated to be puppets of the future.

My late grandfather, spoke leisurely about such puppets, in his narrated repetitive enlightening history lessons about South Africa – puppets of the system. A system that interlays within microcosms of systems that form a humongous single manipulative system, controlled by capitalists, communists, war-mangers, dictators, undefeatable pillagers of greater systems from Europe, Asia and America.

According to my late grandfather; a puppet system seeks to pin-down and impose total control on its citizenry. A puppet system creates men and women who cannot think for themselves – men and women who are taught and told by their government, dictators and learning institutions on how to think and treat others. Puppets emulate their masters in their prejudice ways and ways of thinking.

Racists are born and bred by the puppet system which pumps fuel of hatred into the hearts and minds of its nation. The Nats and AWB turned white people into puppets; they were puppets and are still puppets of a greater system of hatred, still operating in places such as Pretoria and Bloemfontein in South Africa.

White people, who are still full of hatred for Black people for no particular reasons, were indoctrinated into hating by their great puppet master called Apartheid. This hatred towards people of color emanated from a doctrine of servitude and docile passivity that white people still believe is the nature and character of a Black persona. The mentality of a Black person was reduced to a docile doll state, to a place where they should serve the ‘white-master’ and think of themselves last, even if it meant they should turn a blind-eye towards indiscretions done to other people of color. My grandfather warned me about native Bantu who were initiated into a hatred system by hateful whites, thus became puppets of their system.

A puppet is not human; it is maneuvered by strings and given a voice by its master, therefore exists in the surreal world of its master, which can be changed by the master at any given time. A puppet, just as a man or woman that walks around with hatred in their hearts and mind cannot control their environment. The environment is all set unconditionally and unconstitutionally by its master - restraining the development of individuals, tribes, nations or even the world into the hands of racist, capitalist and communist puppeteers.

The world is being trained to be an economic puppet of richer nations through monetary policy systems that aim at manacling underdeveloped regions of the world into their own puppet systems, by means of aiding or lending policies that stripe other nations of their economic and social freedom, rather than improving their living standards.

In this economic puppet system, the rich utilize their capital power to impose their extremist political, religious and social status upon simpletons of this world. Tricking them into believing that they are helping, when in actual fact, they are doing more damage to their way of thinking and survival thus making the rich, richer.
A puppet system knows no Human Rights nor the constitution of any country and does not abide by the United Nations’ ideal of universal harmony; it uses good hearted people with morals to create disorder in the world, thus turn them into immoral barbarians - barbaric people who belittle other ethnic groups and impoverished people into doing their evil deeds in the world.

When you teach a man how to fish, you do not tell the man not to feed the fish to his family and community, because the whole aim of teaching him how to fish is for him to learn how to feed his family and community. A man who learns how to read and write in any education system cannot be told what to write and how to think. The whole aim of an education in a puppet system is to liberate the mind and body from all strings of a puppeteer that pull and push – reducing him into a docile little doll. A puppet system does the opposite; it tells the man to sell the fish to his family and community, not share it thus transforms him into a greedy and power hungry individual. It instructs the educated mind to write what people want to hear, not what they should hear, therefore turns him into a manipulative intellectual ignoramus.

My grandfather warned me about this puppet system years after the father of Black Consciousness, writing under the name Frank Talk, uttered these words: “It becomes more necessary to see the truth as it is if you realise that the only vehicle for change are these peo¬ple who have lost their personality. The first step therefore is to make the black man [or any man] come to himself; to pump back life into his empty shell; to infuse him with pride and dignity, to remind him of his complicity in the crime of allowing himself to be misused and therefore letting evil reign supreme in the country of his birth.” (Steve Biko, I Write What I Like: 31)

A puppet mentality robs humankind of its dignity and pride, changing individuals into zombies, integrating them in a puppet system, to supply its cruel intention - hence taking away the ability for one to think about the welfare of other human beings. One of the greatest leaders of our time once said: “Do not surround yourself with ‘yes man’, surround yourself with people and individuals that oppose your opinions and challenge your mentality – People that will feed your mind, making you a great listener and a great leader.”

Human beings are not docile little dolls that are commanded with indistinguishable strings to act and feel as any government or conglomerate see fit or want them to act at any given time. Human beings have their own voice and opinion that elects leaders to pedestals of debate, who in turn become representatives of the people, and serve those people.

Individuals should unequivocally state that, they are not prejudice, racists, sexists and homophobes. Individuals should state unequivocally that they stand for equality to all and not for suppression of any race or ethnic group. Individuals should not be ‘yes man’ to a voice of a government that is a dictator to its masses – silenced by a salary at the end of the month. Individuals should not be fools that are reduced into puppets of any system, playing a role to the tune of a puppeteer. It should be noted that in a mass revolution puppets became extremist militants - in turn, government institutions should not be factories that aim at creating people that are puppets in their system, but aim to create free thinkers that build a particular nation.

WORD TO A NEW FREE THINKING REVOLUTION

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

“YOU STRIKE A ROCK!”

A wise woman once uttered enlightening words that reverberated in the spiritual essence of our psychologically battered, male dominated society. This woman was none other than, apartheid activist, Allen Khuzwayo, who in our passive resistance lamented these words: "You strike a woman, you strike a rock!" There are women who are women of immaculate finesse, which in all quintessence, bare the strength of a rock - subsequent to the failure of their marriages or relationships to obsessive controlling, abusive man.

I have witnessed the scourge of abuse at an early age in my life. Today I realize that abusive men are a product of our society, although I do not condone violence in any form, whether verbal, physical or emotional – violent men are forged by our society and this is a matter that needs to be addressed in full effect. We as society play a trumpeting role in influencing and forging the type of man that society will look up to in the future. We need to find the cause-and-effect of why a particular man turns into an abusive beast.

Young men of today will perpetuate the same abusive ‘cavemen’ tendencies of older generations that have marked women with an unworthy stain for the past millennium. We have to probe the type of milieu that a man who perpetuates violence in any form, is raised in. Keeping in mind, the types of attitudes or personas that, people who fabricate such aggressive attitudes propagate. It all starts with us as women and men - on how we treat each other as individuals.

Perpetrators of women to children violence, are cowards who themselves were treated with disrespect and humiliation by similar cowards – therefore see it fit to repeat the circle of abuse because, at the time of their darkest days of abusive. Their family members; aunts, uncle, mothers, fathers and siblings in their lives, chose not to ‘hear, see nor speak evil’ – thus turning a blind eye to the abusive evil that was done to them at that time. Speaking out was a taboo thing, for the victim of abuse deserved to be raped, punched and pillaged of the little dignity they have. By men who were perpetrators of abuse, men that were feared and praised by irresponsible men.

“You strike a woman, you strike a rock!" Women and children are not objects of ridicule – they are rocks that should be nurtured in rough and tough times, comforted and loved in breezy easy days - rocks that are polished to women of the future.

As much as we need responsible men to craft such rocks – Men who are: “Responsible men [that] don’t look away; they have the courage to act! Take a stand. Stop violence against women and children….” And do not encourage abuse. We as society also need responsible women that do not perpetuate abuse or harbor abusers in their closed doors. Take a stand! Say no to women and children abuse.

WORD TO A NEW REVOLUTION!

By Linda Sakazi Thwala

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

MEDIA

Media is like a pebble that is thrown into a dam – creating ripples that are constant from the point of origin to the peripheries of the dam, thus affecting the whole nature of the dam. In everyday life, Media influences people’s livelihoods by dictating what people hear, read and watch – therefore structure the behavioral social order, trends or the environment that they live in. There are many influences within the media structures that manipulate, inspire and control our societal influence.

Media uses a number of tools that create an impression to the public. These tools are radio, television, cinema, and all the print mediums (Newpapers, Magazines & Books) and the internet. Global information networks depend primarily on various mediums to make the world’s communication process work in accordance to the universal code of coherent comprehension to all different cultures in the world. The ‘ripple effect’ shows that media is no longer a restricted tool but, a proletarian tool around the world that keeps the world on its feet.

People’s lives are affected by the messages that are transmitted through these mediums as they sometimes contain current affairs which are disturbing, offensive and downright cruel to a certain degree. These news come in all forms and from anywhere in the continent, relating from crime, wars, rape, fraud, political elections, racism, natural disasters and diseases that affect the world‘s harmonious social order. The perceptions that people have on other nations - their neighbours in the world. Ultimately creating awareness on solidarity and philanthropic relations between diverse cultures and nations. Leading to a universal call to aid poverty stricken regions of the world - predominantly African regions.

Media influences various people’s lives on a variety of topics that shape and make individuals. As an observer and an introvert, with somewhat, sparks of extrovert tendencies - I document events that later transform into prose and form an opinion that is observed from my point of view all based on media - transient tangible and intangible emotive moments.

Media is a tool of propaganda that helps to transform the world – producing stalwart political leaders, political villains and brings help to beggars, unveiling robbers. Media aids nations to overthrow governments and rebuild broken bridges between countries. Media liberates; as many wars of words were fought through the media and not the battle-fields. Media is like rain with dark clouds, flickering and thundering with roaring sounds, visions and liberating ink, assuring its spectators, a promising bright sunshine, at the end of the storm. Media is FUN!

By Linda Sakazi Thwala