One subject that has lingered in my life and pestered my existence is Sibling Rivalry, which is said to be: “The often aggressive, contentious interactions between siblings?” Siblings engage in this tenuous struggle for dominance due to the no peculiar reason but jealousy. Jealousy that leads the other sibling thinking that they own and deserve everything that the other sibling, be it brother or sister, has or acquires from their parents or through share hard work.
When one has a sibling, brother or sister, younger or older, that has no self-direction and lacks self-worth and self-discipline in their existence, looks at what their sibling has, thus want to dominate and control their achievements; sibling rivalry turns from a simple game of what’s mine is yours, into a serious life of self-loathing and unnecessary pathos. A life of kinship adversities that is formed and merged by lineage and blood. In some cases leads to murder, due to an uncontrolled parental supervision.
When parents lose the grip on discipline and ignore how their children interact between each other, the often much needed emotional attachment is replaced by material affirmation, which leads to an uncontrolled home environment, which sieves through to our social environment. The brother or sister that thinks that they are more prone to be loved or hated by its parents, ends up thinking that they can takeover and assume the parental role without considering other siblings. Therefore, become the ‘aggressor’ in everything that the other sibling contributes towards their kinship, be it physically, verbally or emotionally.
The extra aggressive sibling, will go out of their way to blame, trick and create squabbles between their siblings and parents. The trickery comes in the form of creating untruths against their brother or sister, taking everything given to their sibling as theirs and destroying it purposely to make the other sibling’s self-worth seems unwanted and trounced. The aggressor is the attention-seeker, always wants attention from its parents in every way and every form, at whatever cost, even if they are wrong in their jealousy crazed pursuit. The aggressor has no self-perception and takes no self-criticism, as a result is blinded by the storm of jealousy brewing within them. There is no peace in the world of the aggressor, only division, finger-pointing and a lot of bickering.
The power struggle for acceptance is what drives a sibling to do things that will disparage their brother or sister from achieving or living their lives in their home, or social environment. Sibling rivalry can be extremely aggravated if the other sibling is talented and has something to contribute to the world. When the aggressor has no voice of their own, they want to take the voice of the one that has it, thus fail to appreciate and acknowledge their shortcoming – you can’t have it all and you can't have power over your siblings.
When it comes to constructing a strong family base, self-control amongst siblings is an important and essential trait. Parents need to understand each sibling for who they are and what they want out of life - give special attention to the sibling that needs it most, and give encouragement to the one that gets it; which will ultimately help in polarizing two or more opinionated minds, each character formulating their own spiritual and mental base in love and light.
Illuminate your home with love, and conversations that will bring clarity and understanding between your siblings. If you have a sibling that hates you for who you are or you hate, try and build a sense of worth by bridging that gap with love and understanding that your sibling will never be you and you can never be your sibling. Alas, your life can never be your brother’s or sister’s, but yours. Eliminate jealousy; eliminate the touchy subject of Sibling Rivalry. In Love and in Light!!!
WORD TO A NEW SIBLING LOVE REVOLUTION!
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
LINDA SAKAZI THWALA'S WORD: Life is a South African Journey _______ Contact: +27730376405
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The South African Love Revolution
To build a prosperous nation, we as South Africans need to allow diversity and transparent integration in our beloved nation to give us individual cultural and patriotic growth. Growth can only come if we let our individual love for South Africa reign supreme, regardless of our pigment or cultural ideals. We are South Africans! Our land must give birth to generations that will inspire better technological and environmental change.
Generations that will aim to accrue economic growth and eradicate hate, and poverty in our loving nation, we as a nation must learn to love each other without any racial reservations, exploitations of wealth, criminal or non-criminal, against any South African. Violent action or ignoring our past political indiscretions can never atone our hearts and economic impact suffered by our nation. We are in this boat together, against this ravaging storm of a new social and cultural identity that can only be forged through a love revolution. Love that respects our structural change, love that respects each others’ cultures, love that respects every individual’s choices and personal identity, love that respects our fellow brothers and sisters in our continent and the world at large.
The lives and livelihood of the masses must take precedence over and above any rogue interests by any individuals; more especially political figures and conglomerates that aim to exploit rather than build. Let’s spread our wealth amongst our own and uplift the spirits of those who subscribe to a nation of liberty and peace. The right attitude towards everlasting patriotism and love for our country, we must learn to love each other, without any racial reservations, exploitations of wealth against Africans. No South African citizen should go to bed with an empty stomach. In the world of charlatans, this is a foreign language, as they aim to break the world and not build it. Let’s build our land with love and peace in our hearts.
We are South Africans, we are Africans. This is our Love Revolution!
WORD TO OUR SOUTH AFRICAN LOVE REVOLUTION!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Finding Growth in Life
What does one do when life throws them a curve ball? When everything fails and you can’t find a solution in people that surround you or your environment? Your inner strength is a veritable aspect of who you are and how you deal with the weakest moments in your life. Everyone in this life has their own share of problems, the rich are trying to expand and maintain their riches, and the poor are trying to earn something for survival or to have something in their stomach.
People confuse growth with change – Change is when you acquire outside transformation or material things that make your environment and your survival in those surroundings better, it is when your world adjusts to face new developments or structural change. Change takes decades to come or at time millenniums. Change can be acquired by a revolutionary force, which requires people to help another change their status of being poor to middle class, from no service-delivery to infrastructural development and service-delivery. Change in human being, beside your structural change or status change means changing from being male to female or verse versa, however you can never change your inner self except by growing-up which is inner change.
When you attain ‘growth’ you grow mentally and physically, which is a lifetime process that needs to be maintained throughout your adult life. Inner growth is drawn from all other changing elements or formats in life, which are structural or materialistic – the books your read, your technological gadgets, your form of travel, the type of food you eat, the drugs your take. Inner change which is growth is intangible and can only be see through your actions. A responsible person shows growth in everything they do, thus help transform or change the world or the people around them through ‘transcending love’. Transcending love that is love and light, which comes from within; growth that knows that you can only maintain who you truly are without destroying the world around you - destruction that is gained by people trying to change the nature of things.
Change is what you get outside. Growth is what you get inside. Change is your physical incentive to your spiritual side, which is growth. However it must be noted that physical incentives can never maintain your inner growth. Alas, the world is full of individuals who have attained worldly change, material things and egotistical stature; however their inner side is not content and grown enough for them to be happy with what they have. A greedy person hasn’t acquired growth, yes they have gained change through material staff, but they have not gained growth. Preaching change is the same as telling your congregation to transform - grow literal wings on their backs and people will see them as Angels, that are about to fly to Heaven.
Our children need growth, not change. Yes, they can change to many different social environments, worldly, but they will never attain growth within themselves if as adults they cannot refrain from any form of abuse. As adults, individuals need to maintain their inners growth, which is mental and physical in order to be happy with whom they are.
There are many individuals who think that transformation is for the spiritual and mental. No, the spiritual needs to transcend above the transformation of this world and attain content growth. Growth that is experience in life and about life - growth that assures men and women that beings of love and not hate, beings of joy and not sorrow, beings that need to maintain and not break and change things that need no change. When you attain growth you grow mentally and physically.
To gain proper structural and environmental change, one needs growth - spiritual growth, emotional mental and at times physical growth. Growth comes in many changing formats, which will equal to experience, in relationships, career path, and religious choice. Routine may be best to attain your goals in life. The forces of evil are a part of your emotional pendulum – fight the temptation from within and let the light shine by your actions and choices. It is only in our sacred secrete space, when we reflect on our journey in life, that we experience real growth. Make the right choices!
WORD TO A NEW GROWTH REVOLUTION!
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
People confuse growth with change – Change is when you acquire outside transformation or material things that make your environment and your survival in those surroundings better, it is when your world adjusts to face new developments or structural change. Change takes decades to come or at time millenniums. Change can be acquired by a revolutionary force, which requires people to help another change their status of being poor to middle class, from no service-delivery to infrastructural development and service-delivery. Change in human being, beside your structural change or status change means changing from being male to female or verse versa, however you can never change your inner self except by growing-up which is inner change.
When you attain ‘growth’ you grow mentally and physically, which is a lifetime process that needs to be maintained throughout your adult life. Inner growth is drawn from all other changing elements or formats in life, which are structural or materialistic – the books your read, your technological gadgets, your form of travel, the type of food you eat, the drugs your take. Inner change which is growth is intangible and can only be see through your actions. A responsible person shows growth in everything they do, thus help transform or change the world or the people around them through ‘transcending love’. Transcending love that is love and light, which comes from within; growth that knows that you can only maintain who you truly are without destroying the world around you - destruction that is gained by people trying to change the nature of things.
Change is what you get outside. Growth is what you get inside. Change is your physical incentive to your spiritual side, which is growth. However it must be noted that physical incentives can never maintain your inner growth. Alas, the world is full of individuals who have attained worldly change, material things and egotistical stature; however their inner side is not content and grown enough for them to be happy with what they have. A greedy person hasn’t acquired growth, yes they have gained change through material staff, but they have not gained growth. Preaching change is the same as telling your congregation to transform - grow literal wings on their backs and people will see them as Angels, that are about to fly to Heaven.
Our children need growth, not change. Yes, they can change to many different social environments, worldly, but they will never attain growth within themselves if as adults they cannot refrain from any form of abuse. As adults, individuals need to maintain their inners growth, which is mental and physical in order to be happy with whom they are.
There are many individuals who think that transformation is for the spiritual and mental. No, the spiritual needs to transcend above the transformation of this world and attain content growth. Growth that is experience in life and about life - growth that assures men and women that beings of love and not hate, beings of joy and not sorrow, beings that need to maintain and not break and change things that need no change. When you attain growth you grow mentally and physically.
To gain proper structural and environmental change, one needs growth - spiritual growth, emotional mental and at times physical growth. Growth comes in many changing formats, which will equal to experience, in relationships, career path, and religious choice. Routine may be best to attain your goals in life. The forces of evil are a part of your emotional pendulum – fight the temptation from within and let the light shine by your actions and choices. It is only in our sacred secrete space, when we reflect on our journey in life, that we experience real growth. Make the right choices!
WORD TO A NEW GROWTH REVOLUTION!
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Friday, April 30, 2010
Whose World Is It Anyway?
South Africans are perturbed and perplexed as to what their roles are in today’s society. Whose world is it? Men do not know where their abilities and responsibilities lay in this great societal paradigm shift. Women believe that they are still embroiled in the struggle against men and their macho chauvinistic ways, thus they aim at eradicating a man’s role in all social status – a rather superficial view point. Do we want to live in a man’s or woman’s world, or would we rather live in a human world?
The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed. It all has to do with their pursuit of happiness and how they intend on achieving their dreams or reaching their destiny. This is determined by their upbringing and personal machination, including their love relationships.
Men and women have been engrossed in various discourses about the rights and roles of women and whether they should be allowed in leadership roles in politics and business. Men have been blamed on everything that goes wrong in women’s lives. The global discourse about the rights of women within the public arena, and their role as mothers in their home environment have weakened the parapets that link good hearted men and women further, feeding the bigotry that has long marked women as objects of sexual pleasure and men as ultimate abusers .
Women have played the role of victim for years and have forgotten to reflect on what their role was (in some cases still is), for them to become victims. Acknowledging your role in your relationship and comprehending the type of contribution you bring within your loving-relationship that leads a woman to hating men for what they are, or that leads a man to many other woman’s arms. Some would argue that a loving-relationship is strengthened in the bedroom, conversely relationship victims are created in the bedroom. However the type of promises and expectations that we want our relationships to be can lead to a lot of resentment and finger-pointing, which summons anger between you and your partner. When resentment enters your relationship, respect, trust and honesty dies; and communication channels expire. Some men will fail to see what they had to contribute to their relationship’s demise, and try to quell the arguments with his fists. Not all men use women as punching bags, so they opt to walk away instead of shielding the shouting wars in their bedroom.
The whole argument about women wanting to take over the world started with the type of treatment that their grandfathers gave their grandmothers, what their fathers did to their mothers and why her husband sits in a Tavern for six hours after work before coming home drunk. A little girl watching her mother being turned into a punching bag will grow up loathing men and will expect a similar treatment from men that her mother suffered. As a result, she develops a mental defense mechanism that is acted out towards men.
In the corporate and leadership world, a former victim of abuse aims to eliminate and control everything that is male. An Amazon, a heroine-warrior that will show all men that they are not needed by any woman, except in the bedroom as sexual objects and sperm donors - thence will teach all her women mentors that men are objects to be used in a war against masculine domination. The circle of abuse is now being perpetuated by those who were meant to nurture and protect – creating structures that sideline men.
What about responsible men? Men, who go out in the world, work hard to bring shelter, food and warmth for his children and his wife but, also receive a similar abusive treatment by a woman who cares nothing about his efforts, because her neighbour bought a glamorous car or a opulent expensive ring for her wife – why can’t he do the same? In measuring your man with other men, he seizes to be inadequate to your means and your world, therefore becomes redundant in bringing sustenance, in any form or shape for your livelihood.
Comparing men with women is an impossibly, weirdly tricky task because woman are in the league of their own – women can bear children, women are tender nurturing beings that need assistance from a manly figure that is capable to love, understand and support her, excluding abuse. The democratic struggle against men, which women have created for themselves, is a war that needs to be fought with brains in every level of society without sidelining boys that will grow up and be men. Instead, women should aim negating the stigmas that led to creating this gender bias notion – abuse being an imperative gender separating attributing factor.
A woman in power should gain the same respect and honor as a man in power. It all has to do with character and the leadership qualities that are brought on the corporate or political table. In the same concept, young men deceive the type of mentorship as young women - if their mental ability marches the criterion of being mentored to a leadership role, both sexes need to be given the same opportunities. The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed.
WORD TO A NEW GENDER DIALOGUE REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed. It all has to do with their pursuit of happiness and how they intend on achieving their dreams or reaching their destiny. This is determined by their upbringing and personal machination, including their love relationships.
Men and women have been engrossed in various discourses about the rights and roles of women and whether they should be allowed in leadership roles in politics and business. Men have been blamed on everything that goes wrong in women’s lives. The global discourse about the rights of women within the public arena, and their role as mothers in their home environment have weakened the parapets that link good hearted men and women further, feeding the bigotry that has long marked women as objects of sexual pleasure and men as ultimate abusers .
Women have played the role of victim for years and have forgotten to reflect on what their role was (in some cases still is), for them to become victims. Acknowledging your role in your relationship and comprehending the type of contribution you bring within your loving-relationship that leads a woman to hating men for what they are, or that leads a man to many other woman’s arms. Some would argue that a loving-relationship is strengthened in the bedroom, conversely relationship victims are created in the bedroom. However the type of promises and expectations that we want our relationships to be can lead to a lot of resentment and finger-pointing, which summons anger between you and your partner. When resentment enters your relationship, respect, trust and honesty dies; and communication channels expire. Some men will fail to see what they had to contribute to their relationship’s demise, and try to quell the arguments with his fists. Not all men use women as punching bags, so they opt to walk away instead of shielding the shouting wars in their bedroom.
The whole argument about women wanting to take over the world started with the type of treatment that their grandfathers gave their grandmothers, what their fathers did to their mothers and why her husband sits in a Tavern for six hours after work before coming home drunk. A little girl watching her mother being turned into a punching bag will grow up loathing men and will expect a similar treatment from men that her mother suffered. As a result, she develops a mental defense mechanism that is acted out towards men.
In the corporate and leadership world, a former victim of abuse aims to eliminate and control everything that is male. An Amazon, a heroine-warrior that will show all men that they are not needed by any woman, except in the bedroom as sexual objects and sperm donors - thence will teach all her women mentors that men are objects to be used in a war against masculine domination. The circle of abuse is now being perpetuated by those who were meant to nurture and protect – creating structures that sideline men.
What about responsible men? Men, who go out in the world, work hard to bring shelter, food and warmth for his children and his wife but, also receive a similar abusive treatment by a woman who cares nothing about his efforts, because her neighbour bought a glamorous car or a opulent expensive ring for her wife – why can’t he do the same? In measuring your man with other men, he seizes to be inadequate to your means and your world, therefore becomes redundant in bringing sustenance, in any form or shape for your livelihood.
Comparing men with women is an impossibly, weirdly tricky task because woman are in the league of their own – women can bear children, women are tender nurturing beings that need assistance from a manly figure that is capable to love, understand and support her, excluding abuse. The democratic struggle against men, which women have created for themselves, is a war that needs to be fought with brains in every level of society without sidelining boys that will grow up and be men. Instead, women should aim negating the stigmas that led to creating this gender bias notion – abuse being an imperative gender separating attributing factor.
A woman in power should gain the same respect and honor as a man in power. It all has to do with character and the leadership qualities that are brought on the corporate or political table. In the same concept, young men deceive the type of mentorship as young women - if their mental ability marches the criterion of being mentored to a leadership role, both sexes need to be given the same opportunities. The world was created for everyone that walks and breathes in it - a man and a woman, have the right to be what they want to be, by birth and by creed.
WORD TO A NEW GENDER DIALOGUE REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Friday, April 23, 2010
The PROSPERITY of SELF
The type of environment that one shares their love with their partners can make or break their relationship. Society’s norms and values are the constitutional determinants of how an individual perceives their own norms and values, at times even the things that drives them to make wrong choices come from society’s influence. The societal determinants, such as the political environment, economic environment, religious environment or social structure from your particular country; contribute to the types of legacy that your relationships create.
To gain prosperity of self from the type of surrounding that an individual is born in, one needs to understand and acknowledge that they are physical beings that are born and will someday die - leave upon your earthly ‘temple’. When an individual’s psychological make-up flows into the big realms of realism by acknowledging their status of being: who you are, what you are, what your aims in life are and what life offers to you - developing the prosperity of self, and leaving an everlasting legacy becomes easier.
Personal machination in developing the self, is undeniable and a necessary determinant, especial to your cognitive development combined with understanding of the environmental social variable influences that can build your personality or destroy it. Constitutional determinants which are, international and national politics, economics, embargoes, proliferation treaties, global policies and legislation, have an influence on how your personality, meaning the self, is shaped, coupled with the type of individuals that contribute to your cognitive development.
To gain understanding of how the self may prosper in this world, an individual needs to define the type of happiness that they are searching for transcending happiness or transforming happiness. Material-love is the type of love that the physical-self gain in this world after earning a reward from working hard. Material-love or ‘outside conformation’ can never fully fill your life with transcending love and prosperity of self. There are many men and women who attain the riches (material) of this world, but their spiritual side feels drained and robbed, when they reflect on their achievements. However by attaining the true understanding of self and learn to show acting love, without selfish acts – the influences that aim to break you.
The determinant structures or constitutions of this world will form part of your relationships and influence the type of choices that you as an individual will make in determining your future, in spite of this, to attain the true prosperity of self, an individual must be wary off gaining the world consequently lose their authentic-self. The self that is born of love and of light, filled with salvaging-love, which is acting-love.
When there is violence in the streets and in the media, do not come home and perpetuate the same violent acts in your home by abusing your children or your spouse. When your man cannot find a job, do not shout at him and say he is useless, if the corporate structures do not find him adequate enough as a job seeker. When your wife modestly ask you to please assist in cooking or doing the laundry, do not walk away and say, those things are not manly things to do. When the politicians are shouting at each other, do not shout at each other as partners.
At a certain point of your life, assiduous critics and constitutional barriers arise; therefore alter your course to self-worth, self-love and transcending love - killing your willpower, eventually leading to personal moral decay and self-destruction. To prevent this, self-love is an imperative asset, to being a nonconformist to abusive constitutional determinants that work at altering your authentic-self and self-worth.
The prosperity of self is determined by an individual’s ability to withstand influences that lead to physical, emotional and psychological abusive in any societal or constitutional form. Personal machination to self-love, self-worth, acting-love and transcending love is what brings about real life fulfillment in your love life and family environment. The environment may influence you; however it all starts with you, knowing yourself and acting out your authentic-self with hope, prudence, fortitude, temperance, chastity, charity and faith.
WORD TO A NEW PROSPERITY OF THE SELF REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
To gain prosperity of self from the type of surrounding that an individual is born in, one needs to understand and acknowledge that they are physical beings that are born and will someday die - leave upon your earthly ‘temple’. When an individual’s psychological make-up flows into the big realms of realism by acknowledging their status of being: who you are, what you are, what your aims in life are and what life offers to you - developing the prosperity of self, and leaving an everlasting legacy becomes easier.
Personal machination in developing the self, is undeniable and a necessary determinant, especial to your cognitive development combined with understanding of the environmental social variable influences that can build your personality or destroy it. Constitutional determinants which are, international and national politics, economics, embargoes, proliferation treaties, global policies and legislation, have an influence on how your personality, meaning the self, is shaped, coupled with the type of individuals that contribute to your cognitive development.
To gain understanding of how the self may prosper in this world, an individual needs to define the type of happiness that they are searching for transcending happiness or transforming happiness. Material-love is the type of love that the physical-self gain in this world after earning a reward from working hard. Material-love or ‘outside conformation’ can never fully fill your life with transcending love and prosperity of self. There are many men and women who attain the riches (material) of this world, but their spiritual side feels drained and robbed, when they reflect on their achievements. However by attaining the true understanding of self and learn to show acting love, without selfish acts – the influences that aim to break you.
The determinant structures or constitutions of this world will form part of your relationships and influence the type of choices that you as an individual will make in determining your future, in spite of this, to attain the true prosperity of self, an individual must be wary off gaining the world consequently lose their authentic-self. The self that is born of love and of light, filled with salvaging-love, which is acting-love.
When there is violence in the streets and in the media, do not come home and perpetuate the same violent acts in your home by abusing your children or your spouse. When your man cannot find a job, do not shout at him and say he is useless, if the corporate structures do not find him adequate enough as a job seeker. When your wife modestly ask you to please assist in cooking or doing the laundry, do not walk away and say, those things are not manly things to do. When the politicians are shouting at each other, do not shout at each other as partners.
At a certain point of your life, assiduous critics and constitutional barriers arise; therefore alter your course to self-worth, self-love and transcending love - killing your willpower, eventually leading to personal moral decay and self-destruction. To prevent this, self-love is an imperative asset, to being a nonconformist to abusive constitutional determinants that work at altering your authentic-self and self-worth.
The prosperity of self is determined by an individual’s ability to withstand influences that lead to physical, emotional and psychological abusive in any societal or constitutional form. Personal machination to self-love, self-worth, acting-love and transcending love is what brings about real life fulfillment in your love life and family environment. The environment may influence you; however it all starts with you, knowing yourself and acting out your authentic-self with hope, prudence, fortitude, temperance, chastity, charity and faith.
WORD TO A NEW PROSPERITY OF THE SELF REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Selfish Acts: Playing the Blaming Game
It’s quite extraordinary what individuals go through in their relationships, especially when their union is troubled with constant spats regarding issues in their affair. Some of those issues arise from various expectations and responsibilities that each partner has towards their spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend in that relationship. In many relationship-counseling sessions held with various couples from different walks of life, and through discussions with other counselors - many couples’ biggest barrier, that ultimately lead to the relationship’s demise, is blame-shifting.
Blame-shifting is one of the major selfish acts that couples unintentionally or, in some cases intentionally impose, emotionally, mentally or at times verbally towards their partners. When an individual gives away their power and responsibility in their relationship and forget what it means to communicate your aims and intentions within that particular relationship, truthfully and with respect, the blaming game starts surfacing amid their conversations. Finger-pointing, of what the other did or did not do, ether towards their psychological or physical welfare at a certain point in the relationship, can lead to endless emotional, verbal and physical abuse in your relationship.
Blame-shifting in society is generally prevalent towards women and seen as a social norm that men show towards women with slightly different behavioral tendencies, to what constitute a ‘proverbial’ woman. Many women are humiliated in public because, their dress-code commands rape upon them, some women are shamed, because their movements are manly and they fancy the same women that men want. At times, a tendency perceived by society in the streets is emulated by an individual within their close confines - a man that walks away from his child, blames that child’s mother for why he left a fetus that will be child for not being accommodative enough. A boy that makes a young girl pregnant blames the girl for giving him the fruit, or blames other man for putting the hot bun in the oven - An incessant circle of abuse, on shifting the blame from your selfish acts to the next person, for you to flee that particular situation.
During South Africa’s oppressive years, black men were blamed for ill-treating their women, whilst black men themselves were oppressed. Therefore, when the country was emancipated black women blamed black men for placing shackles around them, in all societal spheres, forgetting that the white oppressor had shackles around black men as well as black women on the similar Apartheid plateau. Today black men are blamed for not giving black women a ladder in all business avenues in this country. Are women shifting the blame? Is it the black men to blame for the past-oppressor? Are their black sons to blame for their fathers absconding on them and their family?
Township dwellers, predominantly in rural South Africa, have a tendency of blaming their neighbours of ‘Witchcraft’, which leads to some neighbours shifting their residential problems to people who are not in the least bit concern about what’s happening in their homes. This type of mob, blame-shifting is extremely dangerous mainly due to rumours scattered by a mob of people that dislike a particular person or family, thus branding them heretics - hated by all because they are easy to blame for creating supernatural occurrences that are hard pinpoint or proved to be real.
Individuals seek to escape their blame tendency by creating lies, on top of others lies and try to push the blame to people around them, be it friends, siblings, or their lovers. To take ownership of your own choices and actions of what you become in future is the hardest thing and the right thing to do. In a relationship your partner can only influence you; however it’s your choice to be influenced – if you know that your partners is a drug user, and you allow that partner to be part of your life, then do not propagate blame upon your partner to all and sundry, without analyzing the choices you made in that relationship that turned you into a druggie too – by avoiding the blame that is directed at you.
Even though physical abuse or any form of abuse, for that matter cannot be condoned, an abuser cannot carry on abusing you, unless you allow that abuser to keep abusing you – it may be hard, but walk away, stop blaming your partner for loving you too love and showing his affection by beating you. On the contrary, stop blaming yourself for his abusive tendency. Stop blaming your husbands or wives for not telling them how you really feel about your relationship, the result that led you to commit adultery.
Blaming your partner, friends or anyone in any situation can destroy the solid foundations which formed your relationship. Individuals take physical or psychological escapes by blaming their selfish actions on other individuals, thus fail to own up and mend on their past or immediate abusive selfish acts. Shifting the blame, from what you as an individual had to contribute to your relationship’s demise, is the easy way out. Acknowledge your own faults and fix them - in your relationship your partner can only influence you, however it’s your choice to be influenced. Blame-shifting drives an individual to highways of self-pity, self-worthlessness and makes you a self-protective chronic liar, that doesn’t care about anyone else’s self-love and self-worth; ultimately destroying your own transcending love and self.
WORD TO A NEW BLAME ACKNOWLEDGMENT REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Blame-shifting is one of the major selfish acts that couples unintentionally or, in some cases intentionally impose, emotionally, mentally or at times verbally towards their partners. When an individual gives away their power and responsibility in their relationship and forget what it means to communicate your aims and intentions within that particular relationship, truthfully and with respect, the blaming game starts surfacing amid their conversations. Finger-pointing, of what the other did or did not do, ether towards their psychological or physical welfare at a certain point in the relationship, can lead to endless emotional, verbal and physical abuse in your relationship.
Blame-shifting in society is generally prevalent towards women and seen as a social norm that men show towards women with slightly different behavioral tendencies, to what constitute a ‘proverbial’ woman. Many women are humiliated in public because, their dress-code commands rape upon them, some women are shamed, because their movements are manly and they fancy the same women that men want. At times, a tendency perceived by society in the streets is emulated by an individual within their close confines - a man that walks away from his child, blames that child’s mother for why he left a fetus that will be child for not being accommodative enough. A boy that makes a young girl pregnant blames the girl for giving him the fruit, or blames other man for putting the hot bun in the oven - An incessant circle of abuse, on shifting the blame from your selfish acts to the next person, for you to flee that particular situation.
During South Africa’s oppressive years, black men were blamed for ill-treating their women, whilst black men themselves were oppressed. Therefore, when the country was emancipated black women blamed black men for placing shackles around them, in all societal spheres, forgetting that the white oppressor had shackles around black men as well as black women on the similar Apartheid plateau. Today black men are blamed for not giving black women a ladder in all business avenues in this country. Are women shifting the blame? Is it the black men to blame for the past-oppressor? Are their black sons to blame for their fathers absconding on them and their family?
Township dwellers, predominantly in rural South Africa, have a tendency of blaming their neighbours of ‘Witchcraft’, which leads to some neighbours shifting their residential problems to people who are not in the least bit concern about what’s happening in their homes. This type of mob, blame-shifting is extremely dangerous mainly due to rumours scattered by a mob of people that dislike a particular person or family, thus branding them heretics - hated by all because they are easy to blame for creating supernatural occurrences that are hard pinpoint or proved to be real.
Individuals seek to escape their blame tendency by creating lies, on top of others lies and try to push the blame to people around them, be it friends, siblings, or their lovers. To take ownership of your own choices and actions of what you become in future is the hardest thing and the right thing to do. In a relationship your partner can only influence you; however it’s your choice to be influenced – if you know that your partners is a drug user, and you allow that partner to be part of your life, then do not propagate blame upon your partner to all and sundry, without analyzing the choices you made in that relationship that turned you into a druggie too – by avoiding the blame that is directed at you.
Even though physical abuse or any form of abuse, for that matter cannot be condoned, an abuser cannot carry on abusing you, unless you allow that abuser to keep abusing you – it may be hard, but walk away, stop blaming your partner for loving you too love and showing his affection by beating you. On the contrary, stop blaming yourself for his abusive tendency. Stop blaming your husbands or wives for not telling them how you really feel about your relationship, the result that led you to commit adultery.
Blaming your partner, friends or anyone in any situation can destroy the solid foundations which formed your relationship. Individuals take physical or psychological escapes by blaming their selfish actions on other individuals, thus fail to own up and mend on their past or immediate abusive selfish acts. Shifting the blame, from what you as an individual had to contribute to your relationship’s demise, is the easy way out. Acknowledge your own faults and fix them - in your relationship your partner can only influence you, however it’s your choice to be influenced. Blame-shifting drives an individual to highways of self-pity, self-worthlessness and makes you a self-protective chronic liar, that doesn’t care about anyone else’s self-love and self-worth; ultimately destroying your own transcending love and self.
WORD TO A NEW BLAME ACKNOWLEDGMENT REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
South Africa’s Integration Crisis
To attenuate the forces that aim at polarizing South Africa’s community without engaging in a proper channel of dialogue and debate in our nation - we need to face the political rhetoric of the past that has propelled the forces of hatred that has marginalized our nation without compromise. Instigating forces that have directly searched for ways to augment racial tension and division; to deaden efforts of the majority in our nation that aim at reconciling past indiscretions that were carried out by the minority within our population.
In the wake of an unfortunate death of AWB leader Eugene Terre’Blanche, who was the greatest polarizer in our nation by far - preaching white Afrikaner supremacy and badly beating, and mocking black people with his hate speech and violent actions, in his unworthy quest to polarize our nation farther - an antagonizing factor that was unnecessary in the process of healing our nation.
South Africans must be wary of inflaming violent acts instead of debating the problems that are a crisis in our country. Elements that need to be addressed unequivocally are the elements that aid racial separation in this country, which does include ANC Youth League president Julius Malema’s rendition of Apartheid reminiscing song, ‘Kill the Boer, Kill the Farmer’. In the context of today’s Democratic society, the rendition does, according to our Constitution incite violence and inflame the hearts of Black Youth that are still entwined with bad sporadic treatments from their white counterparts.
The call for a united South Africa can never be met with the machiavellianist militant tactics that are presented by the ANC Youth League president – his heart and intentions maybe in a good place, however it is a paradox to what the African National Congress (ANC) stand for today (unless there are hidden agendas within the ANC, unbeknown to South Africans) . We can never have a cohesive, peaceful society without addressing the fundamental basics that had formed sections of our society who deem themselves superior than the rest of South Africa’s diverse society. The unjust prism of our ‘Rainbow Nation’ that is mangled by political dogma and corruption, will never be resolved; when the eyes of our politicians and society still see color, rather than humans coexisting with other humans.
The South African government needs to erase ambiguous puppetry systems that aim at pinning down developmental efforts for the blacks in our country that have been a consistent isolating element in our nation. The honorable President Jacob Zuma and his cabinet; need to stop dillydallying around important issues that have not been resolved since the introduction of our inaugural Democratic state – key being, service delivery and unemployment in our nation.
We can never deny that South Africa, particularly black South Africa needs economic and emotional healing from the indiscretions of the past, for as long as hateful images of the past that are still being carried-out by a few hateful minorities in some parts of South Africa continues. Our nation is still reeling from hateful treatment of black natives from agrarian fields to corporate boardrooms by those who do not believe in an integrated South African community that is governed by our Constitution.
South Africa is not yet fully emancipated from the shackles of the past - as a new Democratic country with issues of racial tension and service deliveries that are moving at a snail’s pace. We should not instigate violence in any form but rather point out unremitting hateful dogmatic attitudes that seek to polarize our nation; thus making it ungovernable.
In our nation building efforts polarizing instigators, have no place in our society – Integration is the only mechanism that will strengthen ties within the polarity factions between blacks and whites in our socially, linguistically, traditionally diverse nation. Without dialogue, South Africans shall endure a tenuous foreseeable future of civil war and genocide that has crippled many countries in Africa. We need to consolidate our efforts as a nation, and move forward in dialogue/debate through the South African Institute of Race Relation and identify critical areas that need hard work towards resolving the safety, wellbeing and prosperity of South Africans in South Africa.
WORD TO A NEW SOUTH AFRICAN REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
In the wake of an unfortunate death of AWB leader Eugene Terre’Blanche, who was the greatest polarizer in our nation by far - preaching white Afrikaner supremacy and badly beating, and mocking black people with his hate speech and violent actions, in his unworthy quest to polarize our nation farther - an antagonizing factor that was unnecessary in the process of healing our nation.
South Africans must be wary of inflaming violent acts instead of debating the problems that are a crisis in our country. Elements that need to be addressed unequivocally are the elements that aid racial separation in this country, which does include ANC Youth League president Julius Malema’s rendition of Apartheid reminiscing song, ‘Kill the Boer, Kill the Farmer’. In the context of today’s Democratic society, the rendition does, according to our Constitution incite violence and inflame the hearts of Black Youth that are still entwined with bad sporadic treatments from their white counterparts.
The call for a united South Africa can never be met with the machiavellianist militant tactics that are presented by the ANC Youth League president – his heart and intentions maybe in a good place, however it is a paradox to what the African National Congress (ANC) stand for today (unless there are hidden agendas within the ANC, unbeknown to South Africans) . We can never have a cohesive, peaceful society without addressing the fundamental basics that had formed sections of our society who deem themselves superior than the rest of South Africa’s diverse society. The unjust prism of our ‘Rainbow Nation’ that is mangled by political dogma and corruption, will never be resolved; when the eyes of our politicians and society still see color, rather than humans coexisting with other humans.
The South African government needs to erase ambiguous puppetry systems that aim at pinning down developmental efforts for the blacks in our country that have been a consistent isolating element in our nation. The honorable President Jacob Zuma and his cabinet; need to stop dillydallying around important issues that have not been resolved since the introduction of our inaugural Democratic state – key being, service delivery and unemployment in our nation.
We can never deny that South Africa, particularly black South Africa needs economic and emotional healing from the indiscretions of the past, for as long as hateful images of the past that are still being carried-out by a few hateful minorities in some parts of South Africa continues. Our nation is still reeling from hateful treatment of black natives from agrarian fields to corporate boardrooms by those who do not believe in an integrated South African community that is governed by our Constitution.
South Africa is not yet fully emancipated from the shackles of the past - as a new Democratic country with issues of racial tension and service deliveries that are moving at a snail’s pace. We should not instigate violence in any form but rather point out unremitting hateful dogmatic attitudes that seek to polarize our nation; thus making it ungovernable.
In our nation building efforts polarizing instigators, have no place in our society – Integration is the only mechanism that will strengthen ties within the polarity factions between blacks and whites in our socially, linguistically, traditionally diverse nation. Without dialogue, South Africans shall endure a tenuous foreseeable future of civil war and genocide that has crippled many countries in Africa. We need to consolidate our efforts as a nation, and move forward in dialogue/debate through the South African Institute of Race Relation and identify critical areas that need hard work towards resolving the safety, wellbeing and prosperity of South Africans in South Africa.
WORD TO A NEW SOUTH AFRICAN REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Selfish Acts: A parent’s default.
To leave an everlasting legacy is a critical thing in this world – what you aspire to be in your daily interactions should reflect in your actions and how you as a person would want to be remembered and celebrated by your loved ones and the greater community at large. Paternal and maternal love is what drives an individual’s placidity and contentment in life – ultimately leading to your success. What happens when that love fails to protect or render a safe cushion to its offspring?
A parent’s love can at times turn to hurt instead of healing – failing love fails to inspire or fails to build ones character. A parent that has not achieved everything that they wished to have achieved in their youth, due to their irresponsibility, can times be restrictive to the children’s progress in life. Such restrictions come in the form of over-protectiveness which in its ripe state it’s total envy. Being over-protective as a parent puts boundaries to your child’s growth as an individual thus hampers their future prospects - be it career paths, business liaisons or love relations.
It is important that parents pursue their own ambitions, before or after having children. Why? Because, not doing so leaves an individual envies and angry at the world. Life has a way of throwing carve-balls at us as individuals, so much as we do not choose the time, place and why we are having children. Certain individuals have children for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time, or in unbefitting conditions; therefore leaves an individual to deduce or ascertain their unforeseen gift as a ‘mistake’- which is why numerous households in our population are in actual fact managed by single mothers. An unexpected pregnancy has a huge effect on why a man absconds and absentia in his children’s life; or a woman’s anger at having to cope with the fetus that will be child.
Parents, who become parents when they are not ready or without the assistance from their elders, draw negatively on their shortcoming, consequently become angry at themselves or the world thus applies their selfish acts upon on others. This anger does filter through to their children - constituting to some form of abuse or limitation to their children.
We as individuals grow-up in different households under variable conditions – some children are fortunate to have both their parents living with them in a loving relationship as life partners and are able to understand the power to love unconditionally with a purpose; hence they are able to show acting-love daily to their children and build their self-worth. Some children don’t have such loving parents; they are constantly bombarded with violent acts and abusive language which essentially expunge their self-love, self-worth and their life’s legacy.
However, it must be noted that parents with acting-love toward their children are and can be disappointed by their children in many unrequited ways – in a form of rebellion against what is expected of them. Children do flow against the ebb tide and are at times taken by the world and its debilitating formations or demoralizing structures (i.e. substance or alcohol abuse).
The biggest selfish act that a parent will ever administer verbally towards their children is to compare them with a person or individual that their children have never met, or an individual that they themselves know nothing of the circumstance. Your child/children are your child/children; they need inspiration from you as a parent through selfless love, acting-love and transcending love.
To leave an everlasting legacy needs a committing salvaging parenting love. Selfish love looks at what others have and try to replicate that without considering what it has right in front of them. What you aspire to be in your daily interactions should reflect in your actions and how you as a person would want to be remembered and celebrated by your loved ones. Self-love, through loving yourself and transcending love equals your self-worth which will ultimately inspire you to live your life with a purpose, leading to a valuable legacy – for you and your loved ones. It all starts with loving yourself as an individual, expunging resentment or your past inhibitions, which will make you a loving parent to your off-springs.
WORD TO A NEW PARENTING REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
A parent’s love can at times turn to hurt instead of healing – failing love fails to inspire or fails to build ones character. A parent that has not achieved everything that they wished to have achieved in their youth, due to their irresponsibility, can times be restrictive to the children’s progress in life. Such restrictions come in the form of over-protectiveness which in its ripe state it’s total envy. Being over-protective as a parent puts boundaries to your child’s growth as an individual thus hampers their future prospects - be it career paths, business liaisons or love relations.
It is important that parents pursue their own ambitions, before or after having children. Why? Because, not doing so leaves an individual envies and angry at the world. Life has a way of throwing carve-balls at us as individuals, so much as we do not choose the time, place and why we are having children. Certain individuals have children for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time, or in unbefitting conditions; therefore leaves an individual to deduce or ascertain their unforeseen gift as a ‘mistake’- which is why numerous households in our population are in actual fact managed by single mothers. An unexpected pregnancy has a huge effect on why a man absconds and absentia in his children’s life; or a woman’s anger at having to cope with the fetus that will be child.
Parents, who become parents when they are not ready or without the assistance from their elders, draw negatively on their shortcoming, consequently become angry at themselves or the world thus applies their selfish acts upon on others. This anger does filter through to their children - constituting to some form of abuse or limitation to their children.
We as individuals grow-up in different households under variable conditions – some children are fortunate to have both their parents living with them in a loving relationship as life partners and are able to understand the power to love unconditionally with a purpose; hence they are able to show acting-love daily to their children and build their self-worth. Some children don’t have such loving parents; they are constantly bombarded with violent acts and abusive language which essentially expunge their self-love, self-worth and their life’s legacy.
However, it must be noted that parents with acting-love toward their children are and can be disappointed by their children in many unrequited ways – in a form of rebellion against what is expected of them. Children do flow against the ebb tide and are at times taken by the world and its debilitating formations or demoralizing structures (i.e. substance or alcohol abuse).
The biggest selfish act that a parent will ever administer verbally towards their children is to compare them with a person or individual that their children have never met, or an individual that they themselves know nothing of the circumstance. Your child/children are your child/children; they need inspiration from you as a parent through selfless love, acting-love and transcending love.
To leave an everlasting legacy needs a committing salvaging parenting love. Selfish love looks at what others have and try to replicate that without considering what it has right in front of them. What you aspire to be in your daily interactions should reflect in your actions and how you as a person would want to be remembered and celebrated by your loved ones. Self-love, through loving yourself and transcending love equals your self-worth which will ultimately inspire you to live your life with a purpose, leading to a valuable legacy – for you and your loved ones. It all starts with loving yourself as an individual, expunging resentment or your past inhibitions, which will make you a loving parent to your off-springs.
WORD TO A NEW PARENTING REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
Thursday, March 4, 2010
SELF-LOVE: Transcending your love beyond words
When you love yourself, your words transcend beyond the material-love that define people in this world. It is essential that people learn to transcend their words into acting-love; love that learns to do love and be loved. Acting-love is transcending love, which transforms an individual spiritually, mentally and at times physically.
A holistic approach to finding the right love is to rip your-self of earthly possessions and find a way to assert your individual instinctive self into what is known as a ‘realistic-self’ or ‘authentic-self’. This ‘realistic-self’ that we as individuals forget to seek inside our selves is an essential entity that grounds us as people and paves our ways to our destiny, guided by our intuition and the knowledge we acquire in this world.
To gain a holistic understanding of transcending-love, one needs to move away from everyday notions of what is the world’s perception and expectancy from them – think and leave outside the norm. The world has shaped people into different classes or archetypes in terms of religion, social hierarchies, political affiliations, and tribalism, consequently individuals forget to look inwardly because they cannot shake the indoctrination that their different societal standings have implanted in their minds. Archetypes that are taught to execrate anything that doesn’t perceive the world from its point of view essentially go into the world with the aim of destroying that which is not known rather than seeking knowledge of the unknown.
Transcending-love begins with the self, your spiritual-self. It is a choice that is made between darkness and light – a spiritual entity that is not taught, that we are all born with and bestowed upon our earthly ‘temple’. Our bodies are a shrine, a place of worship where true faith begins and where it ends. We are all of love and light and are given choices in this world by our indoctrinators, the structures that are erected, and laws enacted to guide us in this world, which ultimately shape our personalities and drift some individuals away from their humanity and humility.
“What does it help for a man to gain the world and lose his soul.” There are many individuals that have lost their souls in this world by seeking outward transforming-love instead of inward transcending-love from the innate temple. As a person you do not need earthly things to define you - you want them to help you cope in this world. Letting earthly things define your ‘temple’, alters your personality and separates some individuals from their fellow humans. Gaining the world leaves you arrogant as you are driven by greed and power hungry ambitions – it inflates you ego and mind into thinking you own world and its entire race.
Self-love knows no iniquities and no archetypes; it originates from the love and light of the Creator that we are all innately anointed with. Self-love is transcending-love for it takes the goodness in this world of indoctrinators and chooses to be transparent, realistic and benevolent in its ambles in this short earthly experience. Self-love chooses the light and it’s not shaped by the darkness of this world – it is trust, motivation and healer to does that have left their own true worship place, their ‘temple’.
This form a big part in the importance of loving yourself - When you utter warm affectionate words to your loved ones, and motivating word to you people, those words must be met with acting-love, which will help to transcend your love into selfless love; authenticating your inner self-love - a resilient love that is never shaken nor destroyed by our brief earthly matters but innately shines to be a light in world filled with darkness.
WORD TO NEW TRANSCENDING-LOVE REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
A holistic approach to finding the right love is to rip your-self of earthly possessions and find a way to assert your individual instinctive self into what is known as a ‘realistic-self’ or ‘authentic-self’. This ‘realistic-self’ that we as individuals forget to seek inside our selves is an essential entity that grounds us as people and paves our ways to our destiny, guided by our intuition and the knowledge we acquire in this world.
To gain a holistic understanding of transcending-love, one needs to move away from everyday notions of what is the world’s perception and expectancy from them – think and leave outside the norm. The world has shaped people into different classes or archetypes in terms of religion, social hierarchies, political affiliations, and tribalism, consequently individuals forget to look inwardly because they cannot shake the indoctrination that their different societal standings have implanted in their minds. Archetypes that are taught to execrate anything that doesn’t perceive the world from its point of view essentially go into the world with the aim of destroying that which is not known rather than seeking knowledge of the unknown.
Transcending-love begins with the self, your spiritual-self. It is a choice that is made between darkness and light – a spiritual entity that is not taught, that we are all born with and bestowed upon our earthly ‘temple’. Our bodies are a shrine, a place of worship where true faith begins and where it ends. We are all of love and light and are given choices in this world by our indoctrinators, the structures that are erected, and laws enacted to guide us in this world, which ultimately shape our personalities and drift some individuals away from their humanity and humility.
“What does it help for a man to gain the world and lose his soul.” There are many individuals that have lost their souls in this world by seeking outward transforming-love instead of inward transcending-love from the innate temple. As a person you do not need earthly things to define you - you want them to help you cope in this world. Letting earthly things define your ‘temple’, alters your personality and separates some individuals from their fellow humans. Gaining the world leaves you arrogant as you are driven by greed and power hungry ambitions – it inflates you ego and mind into thinking you own world and its entire race.
Self-love knows no iniquities and no archetypes; it originates from the love and light of the Creator that we are all innately anointed with. Self-love is transcending-love for it takes the goodness in this world of indoctrinators and chooses to be transparent, realistic and benevolent in its ambles in this short earthly experience. Self-love chooses the light and it’s not shaped by the darkness of this world – it is trust, motivation and healer to does that have left their own true worship place, their ‘temple’.
This form a big part in the importance of loving yourself - When you utter warm affectionate words to your loved ones, and motivating word to you people, those words must be met with acting-love, which will help to transcend your love into selfless love; authenticating your inner self-love - a resilient love that is never shaken nor destroyed by our brief earthly matters but innately shines to be a light in world filled with darkness.
WORD TO NEW TRANSCENDING-LOVE REVOLUTION
By Linda Sakazi Thwala
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